I think everyone goes through spurts when they feel old. I’ve been feeling that way a bit lately. On top of that my sister and mother are having milestone birthdays this month. {I won’t say which milestone just yet.} That all just got me feeling aged. So today I thought I’d relay a few quick anecdotes that have left me feeling old and out of the loop. The kind of things that leave you reaching for a Buzzfeed list of 90’s nostalgia or clearing your throat with “When I was your age…”
I got this sweet piece of Agro Crag for my birthday. As an unathletic child, I dreamed of being able to capture my own piece on GUTS. Even now, I dream of climbing that big, metal-plastic-dry ice-mountain, fighting through snow storms of glitter and falling foam boulders. If this doesn’t scream 90’s, I’m not sure what does. Also…I’ve mentioned the Argo Crag several times recently only to receive blank stares. Even blanker stares when I explain what it is.
image from the things we say {thethingswesay.com}
Quite a few months ago I was talking to a group of teenagers. I don’t know how it came up, but I referenced the phrase, “Shake it like a Polaroid picture.” In earnest, a one asked what a Polaroid was. The phrase was familiar, but they really didn’t know what that meant. So, I explained the magic of Polaroid, its instant gratification and how you would eagerly shake it, while watching the photo appear. Which leaves me wondering…How do they capture priceless moments at junior high dances these days?
While having dinner with a sweet gal from the youth group, she told me how a friend was “best friends” with someone on Snap Chat. I played it cool, like I totally understood what that meant. In my head thinking, “What the heck is a snap chat?” When I got in my car I Googled it.
I had my teeth cleaned today. Which I really dread, because I’m a bleeder. My dentist has a new partner. When he sat down, I looked at him. He was young. Like weirdly young. Dentists are supposed to be at least middle aged. And me, being me…I said “Hi, you look young.”
To which he replied, “I am. When did you get your braces off?”
“2001 or 2. I can’t remember. The early 2000’s are all a blur of good music and awesome pop culture.”
“Cool, we graduated in the same year.”
Yuck. I’m not old enough to be peers with people with professional jobs that take a million years of school. I’m not old enough to be the same age as my dentist. Wait…
At the New Year’s Eve party at church with the youth group, I overheard our youth pastor explaining to some junior boys that before Mark Wahlberg made movies he was a rapper who called himself Marky Mark. As in Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. They thought it was a sick joke. This is history, people. History that I witnessed.
Last one. It’s just been over the last year that I’ve officially started not being carded. Like, for anything. Ever. Unless I force someone to look at my ID, they just assume I’m good to go. I mean, isn’t the standard to card unless someone looks a definite 40? I look a definite 40?
I’m no longer greeted with a “Is your party all over 21?” Instead it’s “The full menu is served in the bar, if you don’t mind a small table.”
If I have my retainer in {oh, I don’t think I’ve told you…yeah, I have a retainer now, but that’s a story for another time} it’s a little more lenient…because then people are confused about why a 40 year old is wearing a retainer. But, my, my, my, it’s weird when you realize that not only are you not very young, you also don’t even look young any more.
Here’s to getting older gracefully. By relaying our witty, awkward moments in aging for all to laugh at. But really, family milestones are ahead, and you better believe there will be a tribute post here in each of their honor.
Amy
