Last week I asked if you’d be interested in seeing the messy middle of our kitchen remodel–instead of just the pretty before and afters. The response was overwhelmingly positive. So today I’ve got all the dirty details for you. I’ll try not to be too wordy and let the photos speak for themselves.
Before We Even Started
Sept 13-Oct 25, 2019
When we bought Acorn House, we knew a kitchen remodel was in our future. However, the “plan” was to wait to remodel until after we’d renovated the second floor (which had been turned into apartments in the 1950’s.) The idea was that the kitchen was functional–if not practical and using the space well. The bedrooms, and entire second floor were unlivable. We would address that first–and get our bedroom moved out of the laundry room.
Then, one October day I heard a crash in the kitchen during nap time and all our plans changed. The cabinets had fallen off the wall. (Read all about it here.) Now a kitchen redo (which would also touch the living room and dining room) was priority.
During this time God showed me how to loosen my grip on “my plans.” He taught me to be flexible and hopeful, even when things get toppled upside down.
Planning A Better Kitchen
Oct 30-Dec 1, 2019
We hadn’t anticipated renovating the kitchen so soon, so we didn’t have plans drawn up or ready. And, in all the years we’ve worked on old houses, we’ve never created a kitchen from scratch.
Even though we were anxious to get a better, functional, safer, intact kitchen built–we didn’t want to rush it. We looked at all (and I do mean all) of our cabinet options. We sat down with lots of reps. I looked at books and drew our plan to scale on the walls. Derek ran numbers. We discussed and prayed over how we could best steward our time, money and skills–while balancing work and family. You can read all about our cabinet buying options and process here. (Our cabinets are from Medallion, ordered from Minot Lumber & Hardware.)
During this time, God showed to live, thrive and be joyful without excess. What we had in the kitchen was sparse, but we ate dinner as a family and had peace that we weren’t rushing the process.
Demolition
Dec 19-Dec 20, 2019
By the time we actually started cutting into walls and tearing things apart it was Christmas time. (We waited to start demo until closer to the time cabinets would arrive.)
I cut rough openings in the drywall one afternoon while Gideon’s favorite babysitter was at the house with us. (We could never have completed this project without her help to supervise Gideon while I did big, messy work.) I’ll never forget how excited he was to see me peek through the walls as the pieces fell away.
Removing the walls exposed an unexpected duct running through a section of wall we had planned to open. That would need to be moved.
This ushered in a very dirty portion of the project. Drywall dust was everywhere. No matter how much I swept and moped and wiped, things were chronically dusty.
During this time, God showed me that decor and glitz is not what makes Christmas special. Christmas 2019 didn’t look how I had imagined, but it was plenty sweet and special. We made cookies. Friends came for dinner. We put up decorations and soaked in the season. Without the pressure of having a “perfect” home for the holiday, our hearts were more fully aligned with the True Reason to celebrate.
Floors and Ducting
Jan 6-Jan 15, 2020
Next there was a bit of waiting to do. Waiting for cabinets to arrive. Waiting for an HVAC contractor to come move the duct. But that was okay, because we were busy enjoying Christmas.
As soon as we returned from holiday travel we got back to work. I took out the tile flooring. Although it was in good shape, we knew it was wise to extend hard flooring into the carpeted dining room while we remodeled.
Once the flooring was out, we needed to level some very uneven spaces. Derek and I did this during nap time one day. This season of the project was really hard. There was a week or two when we had nothing in the kitchen. I used the uprooted dishwasher as my old counter space. The water was turned off. So to clean up, I did dishes upstairs in the old apartment kitchen–which also doubled as our workshop.
During this time, God taught me about perseverance. He taught me to be joyful, even happy while the heart of our home was in chaos. I learned about teamwork in marriage and taking things step by step.
Header, Drywall, and Cabinets
Jan 18-Jan 29, 2020
There was a weird time when our new cabinets were in, but we hadn’t yet removed the wall that would open up a peninsula. This was nice because we could use some of the cabinets. But once the duct was moved, we had to move the cabinets to finish opening the wall.
Derek and I took Gideon to his babysitter’s house and spent an afternoon building a header to support the load bearing wall between the kitchen and dining room. After the wall was open, we tackled hanging drywall. Then I took over taping, texturing and painting.
Once lower cabinets were all in place, Derek started hanging the uppers, and the countertops were fitted.
During this section of the project we found out Derek would be leaving the country with little notice. We worked hard to get as much done before he left as possible.
During this time, God taught me to keep moving, ask for help and savor time together.
Floors
Feb 7-Feb 12
With Derek gone, I was a bit overwhelmed with what still needed to be done. I started by laying part of the kitchen floor. Then I leveled the dining room floor (which included a lot of prep work). Once the floor was leveled, I continued laying flooring.
Gideon enjoyed all the time I spent on the floor. This was a fun project to work on together. But I do distinctly remember talking to Derek on the phone and bursting into tears while laying flooring. I was overwhelmed and bitter that he needed to be gone.
During this time, God taught me to let go of bitterness and instead, focus on the task at hand. I was caught up in the “poor me’s”, but God wanted me to live in joy–despite the circumstances.
Counters and Finishes
Feb 14-Mar 12
Why did these finishes take so long? Well, shortly after the countertops arrived, I discovered I was pregnant.
This was one more overwhelming news. Exciting, but also overwhelming. I’m not at expert at carrying babies, but with my first pregnancy I had about a week between a positive test and feeling completely sick.
A friend helped (read: did it all) hang the pass through cabinet above the peninsula and crown molding.
With things mostly put back together I hosted a 2nd birthday party for Gideon. My parents arrived shortly after and helped with finishing touches. While I rested and tried to keep my food down, my dad installed handles, a new sink and molding. My mom watched Gideon and spent every evening helping me unload boxes of kitchen supplies I hadn’t seen since leaving our last home in June 2019.
Having my kitchen finally unpacked felt so luxurious. During this time, God taught me to move forward during difficult seasons and appreciate friends and family more deeply. He taught me all things are in His hands, and all gifts are from Him.
Finished {pretty much}
March 15, 2020
Even after the “finishing touches” were in place, there was still some waiting to do. The appliance garage arrived the wrong size, so it took weeks to get a new one. Once it did arrive, it didn’t have finished, white sides. We waited again.
Eventually it all came together. And by the time Derek returned the kitchen remodel chapter was closed.
This wasn’t a quick turn around. From the start, it was well thought out. And time consuming. Tackling projects this way isn’t for everyone. I get it. But for us, it works. (For side by side before and after photos see here.)
Derek and I both work. I care for our son during the day. We cherish time with friends and are dedicated to prioritizing ministry, fellowship and connection above projects. It was so hard living with the heart of our home torn up for so long. But this really was a sweet season, spent working together, learning together and growing closer to God through the process.
Today I’m sharing an everyday devotional about trusting God in the mess of our lives. I’ve learned over and over that things usually look worse before they look better–and trusting God in the mess is safe. Read along as I tell you a story from everyday life and weave a lesson about God’s grace and truth into it.
Last week I spent an afternoon sanding down the hardwood floors in our soon-to-be master bedroom. I almost didn’t want to start. Most of the floor was in pretty good shape. There were some places where leaky windows had left water damage, or years of foot traffic had worn away the finish completely, leaving bare, exposed wood.
It was a shame sand the nice places. The only thing that propelled me into action was having faith that, in the end, the finished product would look better. What looked “kind of okay” would be breathtaking.
This brings me around to a truth that I’ve learned after working on lots of old houses:
Things Nearly Always Look Worse Before They Look Better.
Pinterest is flooded with beautiful Before & After photos. I love looking at B&A pictures. They’re addictive to me, but often, these images leave out an important look into the middle.
There’s a difficult season in the middle of any project–where things look worse than when you started. Even if you know what you are doing is necessary and will be great when its done, it’s inevitable that things will look like a hotter mess as you start to improve than when you started.
I’ve had “middle moments” when I started to wonder if things were really that bad to begin with. Yes, kitchen cabinets that are intact would be nice. But when prepping dinner means using a dismantled dishwasher as your only counter space, and cleanup means hauling all the dirty dishes upstairs to a decrepit 1950’s apartment kitchen–it’s easy to start thinking things would be better if we’d never started this project.
It’s not just home improvement projects that this holds true for. Think about reorganizing, unpacking, or sorting excess. The mess always gets bigger before it comes into a new, better state.
Israel’s Middle Moment | Trusting God in the Mess
Back to sanding the floor.
As I let the sander do its worst to a mostly-okay floor, my mind drifted off to Pentateuch chapters, still fresh in my mind from the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge.
How many times did the Israelites rail against Moses, asking him why he’d led them out of Egypt to “die in the wilderness”? Why he’d brought them away from Egypt, where:
“We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone.”
Yes, they were slaves. Sure, they were belittled, treated less-than, and strictly limited on how they could worship the God they knew to be true. Of course, it wasn’t ideal. But in the heat of the desert, in the midst of that “middle moment” where they’d been didn’t look so bad.
As a modern reader, it’s easy for me to judge Israel. I mentally scold them for not trusting God in the mess. I easily shame them for having weak faith and faltering. Isn’t it obvious? God has something much bigger and better planned. Why don’t they just hush up and eat the manna? Cool your jets, God is doing something huge and wonderful for you–just give Him a hot second.
It’s easy to take that stance when we know the ending. And not just the ending of that journey, when they really do reach the land flowing with milk and honey. We understand that all the law and the prophets and the wandering lead to reconciliation to God for all people, through the sacrifice of Jesus–His perfect, holy son.
We’re blessed to have a more complete picture. Israel, however, was living the “middle moment.”
Fear in the Middle Moments
As I sanded the floor down I felt great empathy for these people. For them, Egypt was the only home they’d ever known. Slavery was the only lifestyle they’d ever lived. It might have even seemed “basically okay.” Walking away took guts.
Like taking a sander to a floor that was basically okay.
What if I take the finish off and the new stain looks crummy? How will I fix it if I just make it worse?
What if we left Egypt–and all we’ll ever know now is dry, dusty wilderness and wandering?
What if we threw away an unpleasant, but stable existence only to watch our children die out here?
How will we ever live with ourselves if there is no promised land and this whole journey has been wasted?
The floor looked more ragged and dingy while I sanded. The once clean room was covered in dust.
Things nearly always look worse before they look better.
Intentionally Take Heart in Your Middle Moments
Friends, let’s be encouraged by the generations before us. Maybe you are about to jump into something that will shake up your world. You know it needs to happen, but you’re nervous. Plaster this truth on the walls of your heart: Things may look worse before they look better. But God is the author of beauty and redeems even the biggest messes.
Maybe you are in a “middle moment.” Some corner of your life is in total disarray. You want to put things back, but it’s too late. You’ve walked out of Egypt. You’ve turned the sander on the floor. Keep moving forward. God will lead you out. Intentionally reminder yourself: Things look worse before they look better. God is bringing something good from this mess. (Get more encouragement from the Moving Forward in Hard Times series.)
Maybe you are lucky enough to have walked through the “middle moment” and come to the promised land. Hold on to the clarity you have. Do not praise your own strength or effort. Remember, what God brought you through. Continue to seek the ways He worked through that season, continue to praise Him. Write it out. Remember what He has done. Recall it often. Do not make the same mistake as the Israelites.
They stopped talking about it. They stopped teaching their children about that hard season in the wilderness. Eventually, it was a vague, distant tale. And again, a hard season crept upon them, another trial. Another “middle moment.”
No matter where you are, or what you are facing, remember that things may look worse before they look better. But, when we walk with God, we can trust that we are being led toward a finished product, a destination far better than where we started.
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Once upon a time I was drawn like a moth to a flame when it came to spiritual gift assessments. I wanted so badly to understand my God given gifts and what they meant for my life. It took years of learning and letting go of some selfish ambition to understand that God offers our souls big freedom when we let go of the list and grab onto His purpose.
Trying to understand my God given gifts left me confused. I did lots of things and had lots of skills–but what was my gift? What job did God have for me to do?
Answering the Question: What Do You Do?
I spent a lot of time during my early Christian walk stressing about spiritual gifts. I’d eagerly take the spiritual gift tests. Anxiously read the descriptions in the inventory–hoping I’d fit in somewhere.
But often the test came back inconclusive. I’d measure equally for multiple gifts and nothing really stood out.
This mirrored real life where I had lots of interests and talent, but no one clear direction. Much of my life (both adolescent and adult) was spent searching for what I should b doing. What was my calling? What career should I pursue? Why didn’t any of my God given gifts bring in an income? How would I ever have a respectable answer to my least favorite question, “What do you do?”
I’m a mixed bag of tricks. Comfortable in the throws of a remodel. Speak contractor lingo fluently. Happy in the church kitchen. Loves dinner parties and formal holiday gatherings. Fearless of public speaking. Chronically curious. Fast learner. Skill gatherer. It’s all very mixed up and incongruous. Where did that leave me? Where would I ever fit? What gift label applied to me?
The time spent grappling to understand the gifts God had given me felt like wandering around in the dark. Why did it seem like everyone else had a path that fit them? Instead of walking in freedom, I a slave to comparison. Comparing my walk to others’. Comparing my (nonexistent) income to others’. I was sure that God had given me gifts, but I didn’t see them.
If I was good at so many things, why didn’t any of it amount to success? Why didn’t I have a “real job?” Or a “real” paycheck?
Maybe one or two of you can relate.
Clarity on God Given Gifts
Years later, I was honest with God about this struggle to find worth in career and my confusion about my God given gifts. He provided clarity to me. This week when reading from Exodus for the 90 Day Bible Reading Challenge intersected with a study of Ephesians I remembered my years of turmoil over God given gifts.
Spiritual Gifts in Ephesians
In Ephesians Paul lists out several “spiritual gifts” given to the Church. (This is one of the passages often quoted during my spiritual gift test exercises.)
And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers…
I looked at the list. Options of gifts that I might have. (Also in 1 Cor 12, Rom 12.) Wondering which ones I was given. Thinking if only I could figure out my gifts, I’d be more fit to serve, more capable of finding a “real job,” more content in my own life.
The Purpose of Our God Given Gifts
But the freeing truth God showed me isn’t in the list. Let’s look at the complete sentence from Ephesians 4. (Emphasis mine.)
And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.
Ephesians 4:11-13
What my selfish heart overlooked during those early years of searching for purpose was right there all along. It’s not about the list. It’s about the purpose.
The purpose of our God given gifts is equipping other believers for their service. Building (both encouraging and expanding) the Church. And–Our gifts are to be employed until we all attain unity of faith, knowledge of Jesus and the “body of Christ” grows into a mature man.
We are free to use our gifts in any way they manifest, as long as serve this purpose. God doesn’t require our gifts to gain fame, define our career or even pay the bills. Changing our mindset makes us free to live and serve joyfully–instead of feeling like a failure because our gifts don’t fit or aren’t in the career aptitude test.
Gifts in Exodus
Exodus lists lots of other specific gifts given to craftsmen while they are building the tabernacle. Perfumers, those who work with gold, weavers, builders…The jobs listed are extensive, but Scripture is clear that all of these gifts are given from God. (Emphasis mine.)
Moses continued, “So Bezalel and Oholiab will do the work as the Lord has commanded. They will do this with the help of every other craftsman to whom the Lord has given the necessary skills and talents. They will know how to do all the work for constructing the holy place.”
Moses called Bezalel and Oholiab and every other craftsman to whom the Lord had given these skills and who was willing to come and do the work.
I was hoping to be put in a box, given a label–all so I could serve my own interests. I wanted to put my gifts to use for myself. But really–God’s purpose for our gifts (whatever they may be) is to serve others and build His body up.
I thought I needed to find a gift that fit from a list on a test. But really–all our interests, natural inclinations and abilities are from God, to be used for His glory.
Don’t be frustrated because you don’t do it all or wish you were like someone else. The unique makeup of YOU is evidence that you were designed intentionally by an intelligent God.
Don’t be fooled by the lie that God is hiding your purpose. Making His will difficult to find and easy to overlook. I thought to “find God’s will for me,” meant knowing my gifts and exactly how to employ them in a career.
Gifts can look many different ways. A gift can manifest in the ability to preach before a congregation or weave beautiful tapestries. No matter what the gift is, the purpose is more important than the gift itself.
Friends, you are gifted. But we are called to turn those gifts outward. Remove the stress and burden of figuring out how to use your gifts to further yourself–instead, employ them the way God intended. To equip others for work and build the church until we attain unity of faith and the body of Christ grows into a mature man. When you reshape your mindset, you will find that your heart has room to breathe and you feel more free to use your giftings to their fullest.
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Today I’m confessing that I dislike reading the book of Job because it makes me very uncomfortable. It brings the ancient question: Why do bad things happen to good people? to the forefront of our minds. And calls for reflection and correction in how we view suffering and walk with those in pain.
This week I read the book of Job. I have a really hard time with Job. Such a hard time that while on the phone with my mom, I told her I’d rather be reading Leviticus.
Now that’s really saying something.
Job isn’t a book I’d just pick up and read for fun. It was on the reading schedule as part of the 90 Day Chronological Bible Reading Challenge that kicked off on Monday. If it wasn’t on the schedule, I wouldn’t have read it right now.
Job Makes Me Uncomfortable
Why is Job so hard for me to stomach?
Honestly, it makes me uncomfortable.
The book starts with scenes that leave me with questions. I can’t quite wrap my mind around the set up leading to Job’s troubles. From chapter one of this book I’m already uncomfortable. Wrestling with questions and circumstances I don’t fully understand.
Then, all kinds of calamity strikes Job. Which brings up more questions. Better stated: The Question.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
How can such terrible things come onto someone so honorable? Why isn’t the world just according to the moral code I understand? Where is retribution for those that do evil? Why don’t all kind people prosper?
Why do bad things happen to good people?
The majority of the book of Job records dialogue between Job and his friends as they debate this issue. Job holds fast to his innocence. He strains to hold onto his faith and what he knows to be true about God.
Word Vomit and Meaning Well
His friends seem to mean well. I’m sure the circumstances facing their friend left them uncomfortable and unsure how to help. But they can’t keep their mouths closed or their speculations to themselves. They offer advice on how to regain God’s favor. They imply that Job must have done something to deserve this. Surely there is some wrong that he hasn’t noticed causing this tragedy.
As I read, I spend half the time rolling my eyes, wishing they would just be quiet and listen to their grieving friend. Take time to fully understand what he’s feeling and facing. I spend the other half of the time cringing with conviction because I can relate to the friends’ reaction on a deep level.
How often, when confronted with a friend’s deep hurt, do I offer advice and suggestions about things I have never walked through? How often, when faced with the discomfort of suffering do I end up spewing “word vomit?” Looking the pain of another human in the face has a way of bringing out the “fixer” in me. Maybe it has the same affect on you. I want things to be better. I want to fix the problem. To ease the pain, to comfort, to make the trauma go away.
Instead of trying to fix, speculating, and problem-solving–often a better reaction is listening, asking gentle questions, and turning to Truth to understand God’s character. Easy said, but boy, it’s hard.
Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People? It’s an Ancient Question.
The suffering brings out questions. Questions that make us squirm for closure. Closure that may never come on this side of eternity.
We’re reading the Bible chronologically for this challenge. In our plan, Job fits in around Genesis 11. This means that the book of Job is very ancient indeed. Likewise the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” And the human desire to equate noble deeds with prosperity and wicked deeds with retribution are extremely ancient.
While studying Job I learned that many texts exist from civilizations in the ancient Near East (like Mesopotamia and Egypt) exploring this concept. In literary pieces similar to Job, bad things come into the life of a good person. Then the text wrestles with big questions. What’s the cause? Why has he lost favor with the gods? What can be done to restore his prosperity?
Humans have long wanted to place God inside our understanding of moral law. We want Him to be just according to our standards. But He is too big and too far-seeing to fit there. His justice is pure, but it doesn’t always look like we want it to. His mercy is so vast we can’t comprehend it.
Friends, our human desire to understand why bad things happen without cause, is ancient and inborn. It’s a question that has been on lips for millennia. It’s been making us squirm, prodding us to speak too quickly, listen too shallowly, and come to the wrong conclusions about God’s character for longer than we can imagine.
Job Causes Me To Examine My Reaction and Heart Toward Suffering
This, is at the heart of why I have such a hard time with Job. The book causes me to stare into the eyes of a question that has very little closure. A question I am humanly programmed to ponder. A question I desperately want a simple answer for.
Humanity will (I will) continue to wonder, ponder and speculate. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The answer may never be more exact than, “We live in a fallen world. God will set it all right again one day.” It takes faith, trust and a relationship with God to take that answer and continue to move forward. To trust that He sees farther than me (see Job 38:22–23) and is just.
The book also forces me to look into a mirror and examine my reaction to other’s suffering. Do I speak Truth rooted in God’s word, on a foundation of love? Do I speak quickly because the pain and the “unanswerable question” leave me uncomfortable? Am I quietly listening and allowing grief to happen? Am I walking beside my brothers and sisters in a way that is “…worthy of the calling to which I was called…” (Eph 4:1-3)
What We DO Know
Job teaches us that hardship does not directly correlate with wrongdoing. It teaches us that God is patient with our mourning, grief and questions. He does not turn a blind eye to our pain. He does not depend on our righteous acts to appease Him into offering blessings. (See Matt 7:11)
While we might not have the answer, Scripture gives us plenty of insight about walking with each other. The instructions give us action steps (but none of those steps happen to be “speak really quickly about things you haven’t walked through…”) Here are just a few examples.
Pursue things that lead to peace and building up each other. Rom 14:19
Hold each other accountable. Help the weak. Be patient with all. 1 Thess 5:14
Admit wrongdoing to each other, pray for one another. Jas 5:16
Moving Forward From Job
I know many of us are wrestling with tough questions right now (and not only because we’ve read through Job.) We may not have the closure we desire, but we do serve a God who is bigger than our understanding. We do serve a God who allows us to be stewards of his grace, to show His ways to the world, to tell others that there is hope beyond unanswerable questions and the senseless grief of this world. He is a God who allows us to be part of His action.
As we face a hurting world, let’s remember to listen a little better. Not “reason away” bad circumstances. Let’s be proactive with the gifts God has given each one of us to create unity in the Body, care for the weak, and expand the Kingdom of Christ on earth.
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I’m so glad you’re here. Today I’m sharing an “everyday devotional.” An anecdote from life, seen through a Christ’s-Kingdom lens. Grab your coffee (or beverage of choice) and join me as we explore God’s boundaries for us…as inspired by a defiant toddler attending church service.
Returning to “Regular” Church
Recently our church reopened for in-person services. There have been lots of changes and precautions implemented.
Of all the changes that our church has put in place, our family is most affected by the temporary closure of children’s church. Gideon, who used to play happily with his friends during the service is now sitting in church with us. Mind you–I’m using the term “sitting” very loosely.
Our church family has extended lots of grace to families with little ones. No one is cranky or exasperated with restless kids. We’re all just happy to be together again.
Toddler Boundaries
But here’s the thing.
After about 30 minutes Gideon becomes restless. His little body just can’t be still for the entire length of the service. I understand.
Our family sits in chairs against the back wall of the sanctuary. There is a large gap between our seats and the last pew. We do this strategically so Gideon can have space to move around when he gets wiggly.
It’s a big area for a little guy. But it’s still not enough. He is old enough to understand simple boundaries we set for him. In the sanctuary, I tell him he can go anywhere on the blue carpet (basically, anywhere in the sanctuary.) No climbing the stairs, no crossing the threshold to the lobby. Lots of his favorite people are in the room with us. They’d love a walk by visit from Gideon.
I know he understands. But it’s still not enough.
Toeing the Line
Even though he has plenty of space to walk around, he heads directly for the threshold of the sanctuary, where a black strip separates blue carpet from gray. He literally puts his toes on the line, squats down and looks back at me with a gleam in his eye. (Please tell me someone else can relate to this.)
He knows the boundary, but he can’t resist pushing it. I call him back. Or carry him back. Next he may go to the base of the stairs. He’ll climb the first stair and give me “the look.” All this repeats over and over.
Considering God’s Boundaries and Will For Us
As I continued to repeatedly retrieve him from the edges of our boundaries it occurred to me: this is something I do with God. This is something humanity has always done. The safety of God’s will is a wide, wonderful place. Lots of our favorite people are here. There is plenty to do. Plenty of space to wander and explore.
But often we still behave as if it’s not enough.
We can be fooled into thinking that God’s will is a narrow and dull corridor. That it is specific to the point of being confusing or hard to find.
This isn’t true.
The Bible has lots to say about God’s will. Instead of a dark, confining closet, the Word shows us that God’s will and boundaries are more like a vast land preserve. Plenty of space, lots to see and do. Just stay inside the protected land–the boundary is there for our benefit. (John 6:40 is one of my favorite examples of what the Bible specifically says about God’s will. Here is a list of verses pertaining to God’s will.)
Kind of like…Go anywhere on the blue carpet.
But how often do we (do I) immediately head for the black line separating blue from gray and look back at God with a gleam in my eye. Surely this is okay. Surely putting my toes across the line is okay. What about one step into the gray?
Loud is the lie that God’s boundaries are restrictive, stealing our freedom. The truth is, God’s boundaries give us real freedom. Freedom to live in intimacy with our Creator. Freedom to focus on what matters. Staying within God’s will means we have freedom from the bonds of sin and death. We are free to truly live. (More on the freedom God gives us here.)
God’s Grace When We Cross the Line
Let’s not forget about God’s goodness and grace toward us when we push the boundary or cross the line. (Here are more verses about asking God for help.)
For the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate, and will not turn His face away from you if you return to Him.
How many times does God lovingly retrieve me? How many times does He remind me of the boundaries of His will? Even more, how much time has He spent holding my hand, helping me resist the temptation to cross the line?
Just as I continue to remind Gideon that he has plenty of space, God has reminded me over and over that His will is the right place. In the same way that I explain that our boundaries keep Gideon safe, God tells us the boundaries of His will are designed to keep us safe too.
Inevitably, Gideon crosses the line. He leaves the sanctuary and heads to the gray-carpeted lobby. Sometimes it’s only a step and a mischievous look. Sometimes it’s a full sprint through the lobby, headed straight for the open door to the parking lot. Or the stairs to the lower level.
I go after Him every time.
God does the same for us. When we cross the line, He is faithful to call us back. Even when we wander far, He is faithful to take our willing hand and lead us back inside His will.
Trusting God’s Boundaries
Loud is the lie that God’s boundaries for us steal our freedom. With time and spiritual maturity, we will begin to trust God to set our limits.
Really, it boils down to trust. Don’t you think? Gideon needs to learn to trust us to set boundaries for him. We need to trust God to set boundaries for us. Ideally someday Gideon will understand that Derek and I see a little farther, know a little more, and want him to thrive.
As we mature in faith we will grow in our trust for God. Trusting that He sees farther, knows more, and sets boundaries for our good. He wants us to thrive.
Friends, learning to stay close to God and trust Him to set our boundaries takes discipline. And practice. It may never be a perfect science. But God will always be faithful to help us resist the temptation to cross the line. Or help us back once we’ve crossed.
I hope this has encouraged your heart today. If it has, I’d love if you shared or commented. For more everyday devotionals and encouragement, join me on Facebook or Instagram. There you’ll find a growing community striving to live intentionally, while viewing life through a Christ’s-Kingdom lens.
Today I’m talking about being a child of God and the affection He has for us. This is an “everyday devotional.” A mundane moment in my very ordinary life, seen through a Christ-centered lens. I believe when we view our life as anecdotes of God’s grace, we will see His stories all around us. Grab your coffee (or water) and come into my messy, under-construction house (and life.)
We Play A Lot of “Hide” At My House.
For the last few months Gideon (now just over 2) has been really into playing “hide.” It’s adorable. He wants to get under any piece of fabric or pillow in the house. It’s never a good hiding place. Usually I’m the one to cover him up. He’ll tell me he wants to “HI-HEE” while pointing to a blanket. Translation: “Hide, here.”
Once covered, he’ll proclaim from under the blankets, “Ma, yook.” Translation: Mom, pretend to look all over, then find me.
Like I said, it’s adorable. It can also get old. But it’s mostly adorable.
Recently though, he’s wanted Derek or me to hide with him. Sometimes he’ll want the other parent to look and find–sometimes he just wants to be under the blankets and whisper.
Hiding With Gideon
A few days ago I was playing hide with Gideon. We were under the covers on my bed. The sheets with a faded blue stripe were perfectly diffusing the morning light. My arm was propping up the sheet to create a nice tent for us. Perfectly hidden from the outside world, but with plenty of room to play.
He rolled around and crawled to the deepest dark at the foot of the bed. Eventually that wore him out and he became still. He rested his head on my arm (not the tenting arm), played with a toy car and talked quietly to himself. He didn’t want me to move, just to stay there, hiding with him.
It struck me in that moment that I was completely and utterly happy with what was happening. My heart was so full. I could have watched him forever under the soft glow of the sheets. He is completely captivating to me. I love the way his hands look when he holds a toy. How his voice sounds. The way he rolls his eyes when he is thinking hard. The way he smiles with his whole face.
I love that I speak “fluent Giddy.” I can decipher full sentences from his fragmented syllables and hand gestures. Like every mom, my list could go on for a long time, but I’ll stop here.
This bottomless well of affection is something I could never have fully grasped until I became a mom. I liked kids. But I didn’t consider myself a “kid person.” This affinity I have for Gideon is totally different–and foreign to me.
It struck me as we laid there in peace, hiding from the world. I am just so happy when he wants to be with me. It’s an honor to my heart for him to want me near.
I basked in that truth. Me. A girl who never thought she was the marrying type–let alone the momming type–turning to mush under the bed sheets because a two year old wants her. What a humbling, satisfying truth.
As I laid there, I could hear God’s sweet voice speaking to my heart in the stillness.
That feeling that I have toward Gideon. That heart-bursting, stomach-melting love. Those feelings pale in comparison to God’s desire for us. For all ways I know Gideon–God knows us deeper. He can discern our mixed up thoughts and words and fragmented sentences. If I can understand Gideon’s words through tears and tantrum, God can understand our words through the deepest heartache and loudest storm.
For all the ways I celebrate Gideon’s triumphs and the things that he is learning and how he is growing–God rejoices with our victories even more. He roots us on and loves to see us learn and grow.
If I bask in moments of stillness with my child, God craves time with us with a hunger we’ll never understand this side of eternity.
God wants nothing more than for us to invite Him to hide with us. To invite Him into our secret places. To talk, or play, or just be still and be with Him.
If I know how my heart threatens explosion to be near my child, I can only imagine how God–the Creator of all, Author of life, Good Father–feels when we want to spend time with Him. Being a child of God means God loves us fiercely, in the purest, deepest ways. Being a child of God means you are wanted by the One who matters most. You are desired, valued, known.
I’m challenging you today. Invite God to hide with you. Bring Him into a secret space in your heart. Whether you talk, or listen, or just be still is up to you.
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Today I’m sharing three more lessons I’ve learned about difficult times and moving forward through them. Take heart, you can get through this.
Seasons Change. Be Rational. Hard Seasons Don’t Last Forever
When faced with the challenge of getting through hard times, it’s easy to let anxiety and a “woe-is-me” attitude to spin completely out of control into something irrational. I’ll admit that, for me, irrationality and ranting feel really good. It takes a lot of strength to remain rational and speak truth over the lies (more on overcoming lies here and here.) that encroach on us during a trial. Sometimes it feels really good to just give in and let your anxiety fly.
Maybe it’s just me.
At any rate, getting through hard times requires rationality. To move forward during a difficult season you must keep your head on. Remember the verse cited in Part I?
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
The Greek words translated “alert” and “sober mind” tell us to be watchful, calm, collected, with a quiet spirit. Additionally, John 8:44 tells us that Satan is a liar and the father of lies. To resist him is to resist the lies that will vie for your attention and belief during a trial. You can only do this when you are “alert” and of “sober mind.”
Dispel lies. Remind yourself of what’s true. This will end. Hard times, difficult seasons–they don’t last forever. Seasons don’t last forever. Every day survived is another day closer to the end of this chapter. You are surviving, you are moving forward, you are not alone.
Write truths down when they come to you. Find them in the Bible. Tell a friend you are struggling and have them help speak truth into your situation.
Set Realistic Goals While Getting Through Hard Times
In Part II of this series I presented three of the six lessons I’ve learned about moving forward through difficult times. One of the lessons is that progress looks different during a trial. If you haven’t read that, go here first.
In my own life I’ve found that there are stages to every difficult season. First there’s a period of triage. I take on a “stop the bleeding” mentality to simply get through each day. Meeting all basic needs is a win during this time.
After that, things stabilize as it becomes clear this tough time is going to cling for a while. At this point continuing to triage only seems to make the days last longer. On top of that, I become frustrated because I can’t go back to my “normal” activities, but I don’t want to sink deeper into a rut.
That’s where defining some realistic goals comes in. Simple, realistic goals will help you continue to move forward as you are getting through hard times.
During Derek’s most recent deployment, while I was facing unrelenting morning sickness and restrictions from the pandemic, he encouraged me to set some goals to steer my focus away from the hardship and onto something else. Putting my mind to something else (while extending grace and being realistic) allowed me to move forward and eased a bit of the pain of trial. It felt like walking through sludge, but eventually I saw that I was becoming less stuck and taking strides forward.
I felt empowered as I saw progress being made. Hard seasons give us very little control, but setting small goals can give a sense of authority back to us. Here are a few examples of my realistic goals from the last month of Derek’s deployment. (Most are house related, remember…we were social distancing.) They aren’t glamorous, they aren’t earth-shattering, but they helped me see that I was moving–even during a hard season. (More on godly goal setting here.)
Clean the windows
Go for four walks each week
Clean cabinet doors
Remove wall paper from the second floor
Review Matthew chapter 5 (something we had memorized, but I let lapse)
Paint something with Gideon
Look For Lessons–Don’t Waste This Season
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
Have faith. God will walk you through this. And in my experience, He has never wasted a trial.
I believe God’s heart hurts when we are hurting. But let’s not forget that He is our Redeemer. The God that is able to redeem us from sin and death can redeem even our darkest hardships. He is our Creator. Surely, the One who created everything from nothing can create beauty from trial.
He can. He will. I’ve seen it happen.
Over and over God has been faithful to transform my ugliest trials and most difficult seasons in life into something lovely. When we let Him lead the way through the storm He’ll bring us into the calm with a wild, exciting testimony to share. He will teach us things that will equip us for next time, empower others, or just inspire us to rave about His Might.
When getting through hard times, listen closely for God’s voice. It’s there. Tune your ear to Him–instead of your fear or lies or anger or anxiety or distress. Those voices are loud–but God’s is calm and reassuring. He isn’t going to leave you, He will restore you and redeem you.
Remember God is the Good Guy When Getting Through Hard Times
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.
So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.
Friends, whatever you are facing–or whatever you will face–know that God is the hero, not the villain. He is for you. He has already gone to extraordinary lengths to offer you Salvation and Redemption. God has been faithful and will continue to be faithful. He is unchanging. Take heart. (Unsure about God’s kindness? I used to be too. Read this post.)
What has helped you get through a hard season? I’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook. Come be part of a community seeking to live life with intentionality and through a Christ-centered lens. If this strikes a chord with your heart, please remember to share. Thanks for being here.
Back in the fall I heard a friend speak about hospitality at MOPS while visiting South Dakota. At the time, I had just closed on Acorn House and it was a hot mess. There would be no formal dinner parties or baby showers at my house for quite some time. But her message challenged and encouraged my heart.
The Christian hospitality that the Bible calls us to isn’t about having a perfect home. The Bible tells us hospitality runs deeper than hosting parties or having “enough space” or “the right kind of house” for guests. It’s a heart attitude that looks outward and reaches those around us. It’s an attitude that is an overflow of the gracious hospitality God has extended to us by welcoming us into His household.
So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household,
I’ve been ruminating on this post since October. As I’ve prayed over hospitality these past months God has reshaped the way I see being hospitable. I’ve learned that hospitality is something anyone can practice, no matter what the condition of their house.
Defining Hospitality
This definition of hospitality from John Piper has stuck with me since the fall and it’s come to be a motto in my mind.
As far back as you want to go in the history of God’s people, one of the God-appointed duties of the righteous was hospitality—by which I simply mean the willingness to welcome people into your home (or your apartment) who don’t ordinarily belong there.
Willingness to welcome people into your home who don’t ordinarily belong there. Over the months I’ve come to expand this definition to “Willingness to welcome people into your life who don’t ordinarily belong there.”
This view of hospitality is freeing. It doesn’t require party planning, cooking skills or being chronically neat. God desires our willingness to welcome others. (1 Peter 4:9) To welcome them into our home, our activities, our church, our lives. This is hospitality.
The Bible exhorts us not to neglect hospitality. (Hebrews 13:1-2)It goes so far to tell us to seek out opportunities to be hospitable. (Romans 12:13) Hospitality is something we should be on the offensive about–looking for ways to put it into practice, asking God for the strength and renewal we need when being hospitable doesn’t sound appealing.
Practicing Unconventional Hospitality
Since moving in, we’ve had a new roof put on, the garage structure beefed up, foundation cracks repaired, new supports dug in the basement, the furnace fixed, an emergency water heater issue resolved and lots of cabinet and appliance deliveries. This is not to mention the many contractors who have come to give bids and assess projects.
In short, our house has seen a lot of people in it who don’t ordinarily belong here. Rethinking hospitality has helped me not waste these opportunities. Instead of mourning the fact that my house isn’t ready to welcome my friends, I can be hospitable and welcoming to new people–who aren’t usually in my path. What a sweet opportunity God has given us!
A Newer, Sweeter View on Hospitality
When I began to reconsider my view of hospitality, I realized I didn’t need a perfect house or a well stocked kitchen. I only need a willingness to be welcoming and God to help me be aware of opportunities around me. The new military wife in town, those endless contractors, my friends–I could humbly practice hospitality before them when I laid aside my pride and desire for a bigger, better space. After all, yearning for something more than what I have is called coveting. Being shy, ungrateful, believing I should have something better that what I do have is called pride. And using either as an excuse for not allowing God’s love and grace to be displayed in my life is called disobedience. It’s a lazy excuse and it’s wrong.
There is no time better than right now to be loving, welcoming and hospitable to those around us. With social distancing in place, this can be a challenge. But you are creative and great. Satan would love for us to be isolated right now–vulnerable to lies. So we need to fight more than ever to connect and be hospitable. We need to be safe, but we must also fight the urge to overlook those in our path.
I pray over the people who come here. During breaks, I make conversation and I am genuinely interested in their lives. I like to make coffee and offer snacks. I want everyone who comes into my home, town or church to know that they are welcome, they belong, they are valuable. Derek and I also pray that God’s love would be seen in the atmosphere and actions within our walls. Sometimes its not the dinner and game nights of my dreams, but it is hospitality–and I believe God won’t waste it.
Christian Hospitality Has Eternal Ramifications
When we give hospitality a more sacred definition than “party planning” we see that Christian hospitality has eternal ramifications. For example:
The hospitality of Aquila and Pricilla in Acts 18 allowed Paul to minister and teach in Corinth.
In Acts 16 a jailer brought Paul and Silas to his home where he washed their wounds and listened to them. He and his whole house believed and were saved that night.
Jesus’ always made His teaching and message open for all. He welcomed anyone who would come to Him. This is hospitality.
In our culture hospitality with an eternal impact happens when we invite someone into our lives and demonstrate God’s grace through our actions and speech. It happens when we share our testimony over coffee. It happens when we ensure that others feel welcome to join activities that edify our faith.
One of the most important places Christian hospitality takes place is inside the church. Becoming a Welcoming Church does a fabulous job of expounding on how eternally important it is that our churches extend hospitality. (My personal view on this book and 7 other great non-fiction Christian reads are here.)
Real World Examples of Christian Hospitality
As a person who has moved more times than I would have liked, I’ve felt the happiness of being accepted and trusted. I’ve felt the deep pain of shallowness that implied I didn’t belong.
The highs and lows of these experiences are why I’m so passionate about helping others feel like they belong: in my church, in my home, in Minot. The things that have helped me feel most welcome haven’t been extravagant. It’s been things like:
A new friend trusting me to babysit her kids while she ran an errand
An invitation to a small group at church
Getting invited to serve at VBS
An invitation to a “lake” day with a group of friends who’ve been doing it together for years
Hospitality that gets to the heart says, “You belong.” “There is room for you in our circle.” “You’re valuable.” “I can’t wait to see how you can contribute.”
Getting Started With Christian Hospitality
Now it’s your turn. How can you start extending hospitality? There are lots of lonely, hurting people out there right now. And in the current circumstances “traditional” hospitality can be tricky. Here are some questions to pray over to get you started.
What has helped you feel a sense of belonging in a new situation?
What has caused you to feel unwanted in a new situation?
How can you welcome someone who isn’t “ordinarily” in your life?
Who is present in your world right now that isn’t “ordinarily” there? How can you help them feel welcome?
What activities can you include someone in?
Who would you like to know better?
How can you encourage someone to use their gifts?
How can you connect with others right now?
Thanks for joining me again today. I’d love to hear how you are practicing hospitality or how hospitality has been extended to you in a creative way. Comment here or connect with me on Instagram or Facebook. For more on hospitality I highly recommend this article.
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