Military - Amy Allender

Reliable Ways To Embrace Life In Minot | Minot Monday

by Amy | Aug 16, 2021 | Blog, Mental Health, Military, Minot

Minot Monday is made possible through a partnership with BeLOCAL Minot. Today I’m sharing reliable ways to embrace life in Minot. These are the things that took me from newcomer to, “Minot is my town.” For more tips, lists and information on living like a local be sure to follow BeLOCAL.

For me, the hardest part of the military lifestyle has been moving. The seemingly endless uprooting and starting over. That’s part of the reason we requested to come back to Minot. Yes, we love it here–but starting over from the ground up is exhausting. Any military family can attest.

So, if you’re here for the first time, welcome. I’m glad you’re in Minot. I know what it’s like to be new in town. In lots of towns. Of all the places we’ve explored, Minot is close to the top of the list of places we most enjoy living. However, it wasn’t easy finding our place in town when we first arrived in the summer of 2012.

Through luck, a few good acquaintances and my tenacity to figure out how to live like a local, we eventually found our way. The truth is, there’s a difference between living in and deciding to embrace life in Minot. Only you can choose which you’ll pursue. Here are my best tips for settling in and beginning to embrace life in Minot.

Find a Church

Settling in and investing in a church home truly gave us a place in town. We made friends, became invested and contributed our skills to a cause we are passionate about: The Kingdom of Christ. If you are a church-goer, muster the tenacity to keep “church-shopping” until you find a good fit.

If you aren’t a church-goer, that’s okay too. Churches are great places for investing in the community or just forming relationships. Most Minot churches I’m familiar with would welcome a newcomer to town with open arms–whether your beliefs fully align or not. Join a small group, volunteer, play sports. Church is a great first contact for feeling at home.

Mourn Your Loss

If you are moving to Minot from a place you loved, it’s okay to be sad. Take time to mourn your loss. Being uprooted is painful, especially if you didn’t have a choice in when or where you needed to move next. Be sad, but don’t wallow in misery. Allow that wound to heal and intentionally seek ways to begin enjoying your life here.

Be Openminded

I say this all the time: Minot is unlike anywhere else you’ve lived. It’s my golden rule. Don’t expect Minot to be Dallas, Pensacola, Washington DC, Omaha, Shreveport, Salt Lake City, or anywhere else. It’s just Minot. Embrace it for the quirky, sitcom-vibing place it is. Stay openminded about the life you can build here.

Invest in the Community

Find something you love or hate about town and invest there. As a community, Minot is incredibly receptive to new ideas. Hop on board with something you love and are passionate about. Or, pinpoint something you passionately dislike and work to change it.

If you have an idea and plan, chances are others will rally around you. Minot is one of the few places I’ve lived where an individual can have a significant impact, even if they only live in town for a few years.

Be Social

Minot is a social town. Events happen all the time, and the folks who go to one event usually go to others. Start attending and you’ll start running into familiar faces. Keep up with the BeLocal Instagram feed and the Visit Minot calendar to see what’s happening. Be intentional about getting out year round and you’ll start to appreciate what Minot has to offer.

From a mental health standpoint, socializing will offer healing and isolation will only fester your wounds and allow lies and dissatisfaction to breed. I know it can be scary, but truly be intentional about getting out when things are going on.

Introduce Yourself

Making new friends is hard. I get it, but you can do it. Here are ten places I’ve made friends in Minot:

Kids activities (Fun Zone, Story Times, Library Activities)
Group Fitness Classes
Church
Serving on a nonprofit board
Reaching out to people with like interests on Instagram
Taking a class
Volunteering
Military spouse groups/events
Work
Being a regular at a cafe/restaurant/shop

You Can Do This

The season of change is a difficult one. But trust me when I say, Minot is glad to have you. Give it time, give it a chance. Minot might not be a dream home for everyone, but I believe anyone can enjoy their time here.

One More Thing…I Need a Favor

Recently, I started penning sample chapters for a memoir
detailing my experience with mental health crisis as a Christian and military spouse. YOUR help will get the book published. The easiest way is click “FOLLOW” on Instagram or sign up for my monthly newsletter via email (below). Your support demonstrates interest in this story and these words of hope.

Above all, thank you for being here and for your support. It’s an honor to share my testimony with you and I’m excited to see the great things God does through your journey.

For more on Minot basics, positive living and encouragement be sure to join me on Instagram and Facebook. And for more about living like a local, follow BeLOCAL and read their publication.

How to Find Happiness When You’re Stuck by Circumstances

by Amy | Jul 16, 2021 | Blog, Devotional, Mental Health, Military, Minot

When You’re Stuck by Circumstances

In January, Derek came home with the unexpected news that he’d been assigned to an upcoming deployment. For me, momentum had been building steadily with my writing goals and I’d finally said, “Yes,” to God’s prompting to start penning a long-form memoir about my experience with mental health crisis. In that moment in the kitchen, after the boys were in bed and my hand was on the blender, preparing to mix my nightly protein shake, everything came to a halt.

Now instead of feeling creative and ready to move forward toward the things I believed God had clearly set in front of me—I was frozen. As if I was unknowingly playing freeze tag, this moment was my tag, causing me to stop midstride.

Have you ever had a moment like that?

My entire focus shifted. We planned for months apart. Seven, to be exact. Uneasiness and uncertainty welled up inside every time I thought about doing life without my husband for “most of a year.”

Writing is always a welcome outlet for me, but when military assignments, especially deployments, are in the picture, the best policy is silence. Unable to fully disclose was what happening in our home and in my heart, I wrote vaguely about anxiety and emotions. The headspace once open for writing, book proposals, and dreaming up creative endeavors was crowded out with dreaming up reasonable consequences for a defiant three year old and ways to convince an infant to sleep all night.

Hemmed in by daily responsibility, fatigue and operational security measures, I felt claustrophobic. Stuck. Lodged between the need for silence and the desire to share my heart transparently.

Finding Freedom Within Hard Circumstances

I had an image of a dog pulling on a taut tether in my mind. I was frustrated to be restrained in my pursuits. However, as in all difficult seasons, growth happened and peace grew once I stopped straining against the circumstances. Like the frustrated dog, when I stopped snapping my jaws at things beyond my leash, my throat relaxed and I could breathe again.

I wasn’t off the tether, I wasn’t unstuck—but I was able to thrive in the space I was given at the time. I was able to see the unique beauty and opportunity within these circumstances. God is a kind, responsible master. The tether He gives us is always long enough for the space we’re in at the time.

I loosened my grip on the things I thought I’d accomplish in these months and allowed myself to be happy amid the daily grind of wiping faces and preparing PB&Js. It wasn’t a perfect practice. Many days I was overwhelmed and cranky because I remembered that I was stuck in some respects. But mostly, we were okay.

Moving Forward Again

Now, I’m coming down from a season of heightened awareness. The kind that comes from being vigilant for two. My mind is shaking loose. I’m becoming unstuck, dislodged. As a person recently stuck, here’s my advice:

Circumstances can leave you stuck, really stuck, but circumstances are faithful to change and you’ll move forward again. When you are stuck in one way, growth will be forced in another way. Find a way to weather the circumstances you’re in, even enjoy them. Eventually, the growth that stalled will move forward again.

Why the Deployment Ended Early and Why I Would Have Been Okay, Even if it Didn’t.

PS—for anyone wondering how seven months apart turned into four, it went something like this. Shortly after Derek left, President Biden announced all troops would be out of Afghanistan by September 11. That would reduce our time apart to six months.

One day in early June Derek mentioned the possibility of an even earlier return. Then, in late June, just days before I would travel to Indiana with the boys he told me his homecoming was imminent. We’d be back together after only four months apart. I was surprised that I wasn’t overwhelmed with giddy relief. Instead, I felt excitement, but also a deep confidence that we’d be okay if he really didn’t return for a few more months. This was puzzling at first, but ultimately a sign of growth, hard fought, well earned.

More Positivity and Encouragment

Let’s get to know each other. Join me on Instagram and Facebook where we can connect more deeply. I’d love to hear from you. Don’t forget to sign up for emails, so you can access freebies and never miss a post.

Next Entries »