by Amy | Apr 9, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Living
Hi. Do you like the new site? When I asked my mom, just a few minutes ago she said she missed the old site. She liked the new, but it’d take some getting used to. That’s okay. I’m still adjusting as well. There are probably still a couple bugs. But I was just so eager to get it all back up and running, I figured I’d unearth them with the site running live.
Tonight I’m going to share a little bit of my heart with you. A struggle that I’ve faced for quite some time. A struggle that lead to writing in the first place, and now…writing here in this moment. More will be coming up as I launch our first ever “Art of Living” feature on Thursday. That’ll be awesome, but for now, you are stuck here. With me. Maybe what I’ve been feeling will strike a chord with you. Or maybe you’ll leave feeling better about yourself, because that girl who writes that thing is such an unimaginable hot mess. Either way, I’m glad you are here.
A good chunk of my post-college years have been spent feeling very lost. Lost because I long to be a person of success, a person who leaves a mark, but I just don’t know how to do it. I’ve felt unsatisfied in jobs and unsatisfied in the way my life was shaping up. I have spent hours crying over my frustration to just figure it out, or become content without.
For a long time I felt alone in this struggle, like I was the only person who just couldn’t get it together. But in the past year, I’ve learned that this isn’t something I’m facing all by myself. I think there are a lot of us who feel lost and confused. Confused about what we should be doing, unfulfilled in our work, lost in a shuffle of making ends meet. That feeling of just not knowing what to do with your life, despite education, family life, and experience. It’s easy to feel alone in this. Especially when you look around and everyone seems to have it together. Then you look at your own life. It feels out of control, or like it’s falling apart, or that it simply hasn’t turned out how you’d pictured it.
I’ve come to learn that I’m not alone in this problem. I’m not alone in feeling like life is a slippery art form I just can’t master.
But in my soul. In my very core I have a rock-hard, guttural instinct that we are here for a purpose. And even the most confused, broken, mixed up, unfulfilled of us can master living and leave a legacy. All of us.
I believe we all want to live a life of purpose. Everyone wants to believe that their life will leave and impact. And it can.
I started mulling this thought over and over. There are people out there who are living and living well. In reality, I think very few people feel like they have it ALL together. But there are definitely people who have mastered pieces of life. I see them. They are all around me. People young and old and middle aged, working on a life’s calling. Loving what they do. Making a difference. Being unique. Collecting experiences that will make lovely bedtime stories for their grand children.
For months I’ve taken note of these people. I’ve admired them from afar. I’ve spent hours over cups of coffee and chai tea wondering what they know that I don’t…and wishing I had the guts to talk to them and ask them to teach me. Then one day, I decided I was sick of wondering. I decided to ask, knowing that the worst they could tell me is “No, I don’t want to share my secrets with you.” And the best that could happen is that I’d take my first step on the road to mastering the art of living.
The art of living is about learning from others, taking steps toward becoming the person you dream of being and living your life to its fullest, greatest potential.
And that’s what the Art of Living Project is all about. I genuinely appreciate each and every one of you who has read, stopped by, pinned a post, laughed along and welled up in tears at something you’ve seen on the blog. My thoughts have been a bit scattered, my writing theme has been pretty random. But at the root of all of it is my search for success, a quest to master the art of living, to do more, and life more wholly for the Lord. I hope you’ll continue to read and share. I hope the new {improved} clarity in direction of my writing will inspire you, us, in ways we never expected.
See you tomorrow.
Amy
by Amy | Mar 14, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Design, The Art of Living
Thank you to every one who sent prayers and sympathy and well wishes after hearing about my back indecent. I’ve been off the blog for a few days {as you know.} There are two big reasons for this…First of all there have been some time consuming things getting in my way {work being one, a three hour visit to the clinic being another.} Second, up until yesterday I’ve been pretty darn looped up on some high quality pain killers.
I am feeling better. There is still pain and hopefully the doctor will be able to tell me what that’s all about in the near future. Most importantly I’d like to know how I can avoid another Urkel situation in the coming months. And I’ll admit, I’m a terrible patient. The first few days after I’d been to the ER I had a terrible attitude and resigned myself to a life of no working out and only ice cream sundaes on the couch. That didn’t last too long though. I can’t stand the thought of never being able to HIIT it again.
So, anyway…that’s the update.
But in other news I have something pretty big to tell you. Starting tomorrow {or Sunday…it just kind of depends} this site and blog will be shutting down for a remodel! You know how much I love make overs and before and afters. I’d like to be able to seamlessly reconstruct and relaunch a better, more organizer, prettier site without having to close down for a single day. BUT–I’m not that tech savvy. So, in the coming days you’ll see a big fat “Under Construction” sign if you try to come over for a chat.
Why, the remodel, you ask? Well, a few reasons. Firstly, I think I can do better. Secondly, I think things have gotten kind of muddled. I hope to return with a site that is more focused. A site that presents a clearer picture of what it is that I “do” and a clearer image of how you can be inspired. Third, I’ve spent many, many months with a new idea growing in my heart. In my experience when this happens, you should follow it. After prayer and seeking Godly guidance, I think the slightly new direction I’m heading in is the right thing to do.
I just got an Instagram account today. I have no idea how to use it. My plan was to keep you up to date on progress and happenings that way. We’ll see…If you want to be friends, or whatever Instagram calls it, you can find me at #theartoflivingproject.
Which brings me to another point. AmyAllender.com will be coming back better and stronger as…The Art of Living Project. That gives you an idea of what the new and improved site will entail. I’m sad to leave you, but excited to bring you something better. The Art of Living Project will examine people who are living well, living inspiring lives. It will still include the things you already know and love about my current blog: B&A’s {that’s the art of improvement}, house projects {the art of home}, food {the art of the kitchen}, and photography {the art of the moment.}
At the heart of it all, I want to write things that inspire people to see the potential in their lives. So much of my 20’s has been spent feeling like a hot mess. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m doing things wrong, I want to believe my life can have an impact…but I just don’t know how. Then I look around, and see people living really incredible {even if seemingly ordinary} lives. Interesting lives. Lives spent doing things that they love, working to the glory of God. Using skills in quirky ways to be an example of Christ’s love. That’s what I want to do. That’s the stuff I want to capture.
If you feel at all like me {80% hot mess, 10% confused and 10% faking that you have it together} I pray that you’ll wait. Give me a couple weeks. Then come back and join a new community of inspiring people, true tales and a project dedicated to mastering the Art of Living.
Amy
PS–Even if I can’t figure the Instagram thing out I’ll still be updating the Facebook page daily. So check in over on that side of things!
by Amy | Mar 10, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Living
Most of the time the things I write here have some kind of meaning. Whether it’s a lesson learned, project completed or a sneak peek so a client can share a glimpse of their session with family and friends…usually there’s a point to the story. Today, there is no point. I’m just going to tell you a story because, well–it’s awkward and funny and a little note worthy.
As a kid of the 90’s you can bet I’m an Urkel fan. On Friday, however, I got a little too close to his catch phrase– “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”–for comfort.
I guess the story really starts in October when I threw my back out the first time. I finally finished physical therapy in December and had been feeling fine since then. The therapist said her best guess as to why my back clenched up suddenly started limiting my mobility in the fall, was most likely due to a combination of over training and wearing the wrong shoes. This unkindly duo caused me to over use my lower back muscles instead of my core, glutes and hamstrings…leading to a nasty strain.
But I got over it.
Until Friday.
On Friday I was leading a total body workout on the stability ball. It’s low impact and fun, even for gym beginners. Half way through, something twisted and–BAM–no more leaning forward or backward. After class I struggled to get home, where I parked myself in bed on my back. As the afternoon went on, my mobility only became more and more limited. So limited I didn’t even leave the bed for lunch.
When Derek got home, he found me still in bed. He convinced me that I should try to walk. At least to go to the bathroom, then come down for dinner. That all sounded sane enough, so I obliged. When I stood up, pain like daggers shot through my lower back and made me weak in the knees. Leaning on the bed, then the walls for support I gradually made it to the hall. Lifting my feet even high enough to shuffle across the floor was a strain. I felt like I was trapped in an 85 year old body. Once in the hall, I had to call Derek back upstairs, because I just couldn’t go another step. He helped me into the bathroom. The pain was leaving me in that weird place where it just hurts so bad you want to laugh. But the laughing and tightening of my abs only made it worse. As usual, my awkward antics only made the process worse. We decided I should take a break from walking and just have a sit on the toilet seat to recover before even trying to actually pee.
As I leaned forward and bent my knees to sit my back decided that was the final straw. I doubled over and fell to my hands and knees right on the bath mat. That’s when the waves of spasms started. I rolled over to my back with my head resting against the trash can and my cheek against the vanity. That was it. I couldn’t scoot. I couldn’t sit back up. That was it. Waves of awful spasms took over my back, causing it to arch in a weird way beyond my control. When that happened I couldn’t even breathe. I was consciously trying to stay calm, breath deep and relax. But I couldn’t. It was a horrible feeling. A really weird feeling.
By now, we’d obviously decided I should go to the ER. That however, required a journey down a flight of stairs, through the house, down the deck steps, and down three more steps to the driveway. After giving it our best college try, Derek made the executive decision to call an ambulance.
I really do think it was our only option. But boy was I embarrassed. I’m sure that at that moment there were people having actual emergencies. I’m a 27 year old in peak physical condition that couldn’t get up off the bathroom floor. The first thing the EMT said when he came upstairs was…”Wow, literally on the bathroom floor. How exactly did you end up in that position?”
Awkward, I’m telling you.
They asked some basic questions then tested my glucose levels. At which point they asked if I was diabetic because my blood sugar was so low. No–no diabetes for me. Just back pain that made going downstairs for food a totally undesirable option.
Even once they’d pumped my IV full of drugs that finally let my back unclench and caused me to giggle uncontrollably I couldn’t move. The muscles were still so tight it took two grown men to sit me upright. Then they strapped me into a chair lift so they could get me downstairs and out to the ambulance. All the while I was thinking how frustrating this all is, since I learned to walk before I was 12 months old…now I couldn’t even get in a chair by myself and strangers were carrying me out of my house like the Arc of the Covenant. Ugh.
Then they loaded me in the ambulance and away we went. On the five block journey to the ER I was fed a tube of instant glucose to raise my sugar levels. The EMT said most people think they’re gross, but I think it tasted like candy and I was starving…so I was ready to eat anything. It was my first ride in the back of an ambulance, and let me tell you…it’s a lot smaller than it looks on TV.
So that’s the story. And it ends like this: The doctor looked me over and decided all the weird spasms were muscularly triggered. No slipped or ruptured discs. I’ll be going back to physical therapy, no doubt. Saturday morning walking was a real chore, today I’m feeling much better. I’m still on a steady stream of pain killers and muscle relaxers. Hopefully in a couple weeks I’ll be back to the gym. But no curling tonight. {Which is a real bummer because it’s the final game of the regular season. So, BOO!}
The end.
by Amy | Mar 7, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Living, The Art of Projects, The Art of the Kitchen
This week, a friend’s husband headed out for a six month deployment. She asked if I had any ideas. Here’s the truth. When it comes to mailing packages…I’m totally lame.
So I scoured the Internet and found a bundle of folks who are doing the care package thing right. I think we all know someone who could use a care package, whether your spouse is deployed or not. Hopefully this creative list will inspire you next time you need to ship some love via post. (more…)
by Amy | Feb 25, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Living, The Art of the Moment
by Amy | Feb 8, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Living
I think everyone goes through spurts when they feel old. I’ve been feeling that way a bit lately. On top of that my sister and mother are having milestone birthdays this month. {I won’t say which milestone just yet.} That all just got me feeling aged. So today I thought I’d relay a few quick anecdotes that have left me feeling old and out of the loop. The kind of things that leave you reaching for a Buzzfeed list of 90’s nostalgia or clearing your throat with “When I was your age…”
I got this sweet piece of Agro Crag for my birthday. As an unathletic child, I dreamed of being able to capture my own piece on GUTS. Even now, I dream of climbing that big, metal-plastic-dry ice-mountain, fighting through snow storms of glitter and falling foam boulders. If this doesn’t scream 90’s, I’m not sure what does. Also…I’ve mentioned the Argo Crag several times recently only to receive blank stares. Even blanker stares when I explain what it is.
image from the things we say {thethingswesay.com}
Quite a few months ago I was talking to a group of teenagers. I don’t know how it came up, but I referenced the phrase, “Shake it like a Polaroid picture.” In earnest, a one asked what a Polaroid was. The phrase was familiar, but they really didn’t know what that meant. So, I explained the magic of Polaroid, its instant gratification and how you would eagerly shake it, while watching the photo appear. Which leaves me wondering…How do they capture priceless moments at junior high dances these days?
While having dinner with a sweet gal from the youth group, she told me how a friend was “best friends” with someone on Snap Chat. I played it cool, like I totally understood what that meant. In my head thinking, “What the heck is a snap chat?” When I got in my car I Googled it.
I had my teeth cleaned today. Which I really dread, because I’m a bleeder. My dentist has a new partner. When he sat down, I looked at him. He was young. Like weirdly young. Dentists are supposed to be at least middle aged. And me, being me…I said “Hi, you look young.”
To which he replied, “I am. When did you get your braces off?”
“2001 or 2. I can’t remember. The early 2000’s are all a blur of good music and awesome pop culture.”
“Cool, we graduated in the same year.”
Yuck. I’m not old enough to be peers with people with professional jobs that take a million years of school. I’m not old enough to be the same age as my dentist. Wait…
At the New Year’s Eve party at church with the youth group, I overheard our youth pastor explaining to some junior boys that before Mark Wahlberg made movies he was a rapper who called himself Marky Mark. As in Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. They thought it was a sick joke. This is history, people. History that I witnessed.
Last one. It’s just been over the last year that I’ve officially started not being carded. Like, for anything. Ever. Unless I force someone to look at my ID, they just assume I’m good to go. I mean, isn’t the standard to card unless someone looks a definite 40? I look a definite 40?
I’m no longer greeted with a “Is your party all over 21?” Instead it’s “The full menu is served in the bar, if you don’t mind a small table.”
If I have my retainer in {oh, I don’t think I’ve told you…yeah, I have a retainer now, but that’s a story for another time} it’s a little more lenient…because then people are confused about why a 40 year old is wearing a retainer. But, my, my, my, it’s weird when you realize that not only are you not very young, you also don’t even look young any more.
Here’s to getting older gracefully. By relaying our witty, awkward moments in aging for all to laugh at. But really, family milestones are ahead, and you better believe there will be a tribute post here in each of their honor.
Amy
by Amy | Feb 5, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Adventure, The Art of Fitness, The Art of Gathering, The Art of Living
by Amy | Jan 2, 2014 | Blog, The Art of Adventure, The Art of Faith, The Art of Gathering, The Art of Living, The Art of Projects, The Art of the Kitchen, The Art of the Moment, the house
Happy New Year! It’s hard to believe we have entered another year. If your life is anything like mine…it’s felt like a whirlwind ever since Thanksgiving. Yikes. But now the festivities are behind us and it’s time to learn from the past year and step into a fresh, new season.
The year goes by so fast that I often feel like it passed in a blur. {Any one second that?} I have to remind myself that a year is a long time. A lot can happen. One life can do a lot in one year. I really believe that and I hope you do too. For me 2013 could have been a very hard, negative year…but I think we chose how we spend our time and resources and energy. We can let negative circumstances weigh us down…or allow them to give us a chance to brush up on our hurdling skills. I may have banged my shins on hurdles a few times in the past 365, but I can confidently say that I cleared them all.
And if you don’t believe a lot can get done in a year…let’s look back at the biggest moments of a year with Amy Allender. (more…)
