Happy Minot Monday! After a couple weeks off, to celebrate the arrival of our new little one, I’m thrilled to be back. Today I’m sharing my Minot labor and delivery experience. Minot Monday is made possible through a partnership with BeLocal Minot. For more on living and thriving like a local be sure to read their publication and follow them on Facebook and Instagram.
If you follow along with me on Instagram or Facebook (which you totally should, because it’s super fun) you have seen lots of pregnancy content lately. Just over two weeks ago our family welcomed a new addition. COVID-19 has led to the cancellation of labor and delivery unit tours. Today I’m sharing my Minot labor and delivery experience with you. It’s not the same as an in person tour, but if you are expecting and this is your first time delivering in Minot I hope this will set your mind at ease and answer a few questions.
Checking In To Have a Baby
I’m sure your OB will tell you this, but I’ll reiterate. When it’s time to have your baby, go in to the Trinity ER. Park across the street (Burdick Expwy), right across from the ambulance bay.
Check in at the General Admissions desk. Walk in through the main ER door and walk straight ahead. There’s a big sign above it.
Staff will get you set up. Then you can head up to the 3rd Floor.
Visitors
Visitors are checked in at the admissions desk. They’ll receive a PIN number to access the labor and delivery unit. Nearby, there is a kiosk where they’ll have a quick photo taken and receive a visitor pass. (More on COVID restrictions for visitors in the COVID section of this post.)
Minot Labor and Delivery Rooms
Laboring Room
Due to a minor complication, I deliver via C-Section. (We’ll discuss that in just a bit.) Because of this, I didn’t spend much time in a delivery room. This was simply where we “checked in” and I got monitored and changed for surgery. However, I do have a photo of the room for you. (This was taken when I was hospitalized at the end of September for abdominal pain, which turned out to be renal-related.)
These rooms are private, and all but a couple have a private bath as well. There’s a bed, chair and TV. Besides that, it’s equipped for laboring.
Recovery Rooms
Recovery Room–excuse the clutter
On the “other side” of the Labor and Delivery Unit are recovery rooms. These rooms are also private and most have their own full bathroom. (My understanding is that rooms without a full bathroom have a private half-bath, but share a shower.)
In addition to the bathroom there is a sink in the room and TV. Sleeping/visiting accommodations for your partner is a recliner. Derek spent one night in the hospital with me and said it was surprisingly comfortable.
Recovery room. Bathroom is straight ahead, hall is through the door to the right.Recovery room bathroom
Things Provided, Things You Need
There’s very little that you need in your hospital bag. Most things just make your stay a little more comfortable. The hospital provides the basics.
When I delivered our firstborn, we lived in South Dakota. Items provided were slightly different. To accurately prepare your expectations, here is what was provided at Trinity and what we found helpful to bring from home.
Things Provided:
Hospital gown
Hospital robe
Non-slip Socks
Mesh underwear (flattering for every body type)
Abdominal binder
Newborn diapers
Wipes
Receiving blankets
Classic pink and blue hat
Big plastic cup for ice water
Small snacks and juice available from the nurse’s station
Meals available from the cafeteria (7am-7pm), with room delivery
Pads
Towels
Ice packs
Heating pad
Baby bathing supplies
Supplemental formula, if needed
Pump attachments/syringes if needed for pumping colostrum
Lanolin upon request
Lactation support, if needed
Helpful Things I Brought From Home
Bathrobe (something that fits better than the one-sized hospital robe–for me it was less of a tripping hazard)
Toiletries
Pajamas
Breast pump (both my littles had a tough time breastfeeding at first, I used my pump in the hospital and returned to breastfeeding after about a week)
Baby clothes/hat (we brought a hat that stayed on a bit better than the one from the hospital)
Phone, headphones, charger
Face mask
Car seat
Minot Labor and Delivery and COVID-19
COVID-19 has brought changes to everything. Having a baby is no exception. Here are a few ways labor and delivery stays are affected by COVID.
Limit to one visitor. Not one visitor at a time–only one authorized, designated visitor per patient is allowed.
Water and ice is brought in a new cup each time you need a refill–then you can put it in your cup. If you’ve got a water bottle you love, feel free to bring it from home.
Visitors are asked to wear their mask at all times, even in patient room.
Patients are expected to wear a mask in halls and common spaces.
Staff wear masks at all times.
C-Section Notes
My delivery happened via C-Section. Here are a couple notes on my experience.
You’ll check in, get changed and monitored in a labor room then be taken down to the OR.
Your partner will join you in the OR after your spinal tap has been administered.
After delivery, if the baby is healthy, you may do skin-to-skin while the doctor finishes the procedure.
Photos are allowed in the OR, but not of the procedure or staff performing the procedure
A kind member of staff offered to take a couple photos for us
After the procedure your partner and baby will go up to recovery. You’ll join them there once a bit of the spinal tap has worn off.
A Thank You To The Staff
In my opinion, giving birth (no matter how it happens) is intimidating. I can’t say enough good things about the staff at Minot Labor and Delivery. They were harrowing to me in September when I had mysterious and excruciating pain (which turned out to be renal clots.) On delivery day, they helped me feel comfortable from start to finish.
The staff who prepped me for surgery were amazing. Especially since I was pretty nervous. (A couple even told me they followed my IG account–which was so fun to hear!) Everyone downstairs was so kind and helpful. Everyone in the OR was equally amazing. All were professional, skilled and had exceptional bedside manner.
Upstairs in recovery I had another set of amazing nurses. They gave me brilliant care. In the night after my C-Section pain management became a problem. (I was unable to receive traditional pain treatments.) While I literally cried out in pain, my nurse, Betty totally showed up and took charge. I was in good, capable hands and you will be too.
To everyone, who had a hand in my care–and my wonderful OB, Dr. Johnson–thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You cared for me during some of my hardest, most important days. You got my sweet Silas into this world safely and our family home and healthy together.
For More Minot and Encouragement
For more on life in Minot, see the Minot archives here–and be sure to follow me on Instagram and Facebook. There I share daily encouragement for living intentionally and positively. And for even more Minot favorites and insight on living like a local be sure to follow BeLocal Minot!
This post all about what to wear for a Minot winter was made possible through a collaboration with Minot Scheels. All thoughts and opinions are my own. No links are sponsored.
I am so excited about today. This is the day that I tell you all about what works for me (and experienced locals and transplants) when it comes to winter gear. It’s the day I drop the Ultimate North Dakota Winter Gear Guide in your lap. This is the day I’ll tell you all about what to wear for a Minot winter.
With the help of Minot Scheels I’ve compiled this big guide for you. Additionally, there will be a try on session on my Instagram (and Facebook) stories later today. And I’ll be continuing to talk about this topic as we dive head first into the winter months.
About The Guide
Before we get to the guide, a couple things.
Shopping in Minot
First of all, in Minot, there’s really only one place you get can ALL the winter gear. Clothes, outerwear, hats, gloves…everything you need for the whole family. And that place is Scheels. I’m old school, so I find it really nice to be able to try gear on, feel it, and talk to someone who knows the products face to face. Scheels is the place to do that. The staff is SO helpful. And they know their products. They’ll give you tips, without ever overselling–or taking you for a sucker.
Winter attire, especially outerwear and boots are an investment. Trying them on and talking it out is super helpful. When I knew I wanted to create a winter gear guide for you, I approached Scheels to see if I could look through their gear to make recommendations for you. I’m so grateful they said YES!
The Guide is a Result of YOUR Questions
Second, this guide came about as a result of reading many, many threads and questions from new transplants to Minot, wondering what to wear for a Minot winter. That’s why I’m here. To fill that void, answer those questions and give you something to refer back to. These are my suggestions. I’ll never try to oversell you. (I’m not making any money on your purchases…so I literally have nothing at stake, other than you comfort.) I’m just a friend, who really wants you to enjoy your time in Minot. And having the right attire will help you do that.
Locals, Transplants, Milspouses and Experts
Third (and last), I’ve done a bit of crowd sourcing for this post. I’ve picked the brains of local friends. I read all the threads and suggestions from milspouses pertaining to what they’ve found helpful during their Minot winters. Lastly, I chatted with experts at Scheels. Not to see what they wanted me to push…but because these are moms and dads who live here. I want to know, with the whole store at their disposal, what they’d choose for their family. And I’m thrilled to pass that insider information on to you today.
The Ultimate Guide to What to Wear for a Minot Winter
Let’s get started.
At the end of the post there is a downloadable version of the guide. It’s a summary of what I’ll explain here. First, I’ll break all my recommendations down by category and why I recommend each.
What to Wear Indoors, Day to Day
These are basic items and how I dress day to day during the winter months in Minot. Winter dressing 101 is to know that layering is key. Lots of the items below will help you do just that. (This first list is geared toward women, but the same ideas also apply to mens’ needs.)
Long Sleeve Shirts–This is your most versatile item. Buy them up in neutral colors to layer under cardigans, sweaters and sweatshirts. I used this one in my try-on session, and also love this one from Nike.
Thick sweaters–For a simple, unlayered outfit, just pull on a nice, cozy sweater. The flat lay above shows four that I love.
Long, oversized sweaters–folks who live here will tell you how nice it is to have clothes (and coats) that cover the booty. Longer sweaters will help keep you cozy.
Cardigans–Cardigans will add a layer of warmth to any outfit. For a lighter layer I really like this one from Eden Ruth.
Flannel Button Ups–**MUST HAVE** Flannels are great for layering, wearing open like a cardigan, wearing as a base layer under a sweater/sweatshirt. They can be dressed up or down.
Fleece/Sherpa Pull Over–**MUST HAVE** I insist that everyone who lives here owns a fleece or sherpa pull over. In my try-on you’ll see several. Like this one from Patagonia. I like it because it’s fleece on the inside and knit on the outside, so it looks a little classier. This sherpa from Eden Ruth looks great and is SO cozy.
Fleece/Sherpa Zip Up–**MUST HAVE** Again, I insist that everyone owns a full zip fleece or sherpa layer. These can be worn as cardigans or jackets on less chilly days (when layered with a sweater). They also extend into jackets in the spring. Overall, this is a great investment. In our family photo I choose to wear a fleece/knit combo from Kuhl, it’s versatile because it’s so long. In my try-on I opted for a buffalo check from Columbia and a sherpa from Kuhl.
Leggingsand Fleece Lined Leggings– These are the basic, long sleeve T of the lower body. Warm leggings pair great with quality socks and boots. They can dress up an oversized sweater or sweater dress. Or, they can be layered under jeans or joggers for added warmth. Oh, and leggings are also perfect for lounging on those days you simply don’t go outside. I like these high waisted leggings from Eden Ruth.
Joggers or Fleece Lined Joggers–Comfy and roomy enough for an extra layer underneath. I chose these for my try on session. Here is a lined version for extra warmth.
Skinny Jeans–Skinnies are easiest to tuck into boots (which you’ll be wearing all winter.)
High Quality Socks–Don’t skimp on your socks. Those made from natural fibers (like wool) are a great option. Smart Wool is a favorite brand, and they last a long time. Just remember to get socks that come up high enough so you don’t have exposed skin at your ankles.
Boots–Boots, even snow boots are daily attire through the winter. I like to have a pair for being in snow/being active in snow (folks swear by BOGS, Sorels and Kamiks) and a pair of booties for lighter activity and errand running (like these Sorel Explorers or Sorel Emelie Chelsea Boots.)
Slippers–Someone recently described quality slippers as a survival item. Personally, I own a pair of Minnetonkas, but loads of people here swear by their Ugg slippers.
Here are the basic things everyone will need to gear up for time outdoors. First a list, then individual considerations. These are all investment items that should last many years. (Except for kids, who will–unfortunately–outgrow them before their use is up.)
Coat
A hat you feel confident in
Thin gloves
Thick mittens or gloves
High quality socks
Boots
Snow pants
Coat Considerations
Use this as a check list when you are purchasing your coat.
Length–I hear this tip over and over–get a coat that is long enough to cover your booty. Personally, I don’t think a knee length coat is necessary. My preference is just past the tush. I really like this one from Columbia. I’m a HUGE FAN of their OmniHeat liners, which trap body heat and keep it inside. Basically, it makes you your own heater.
Hood–Your coat needs a hood. Something with fur or faux fur will help keep the wind at bay.
Water Resistant–a must
Wind Resistant–a must, as wind is the biggest contributing factor to our frigid winters
Check the rating–Your coat should be rated for negative temps
Interior Pockets–The cold will zap the battery life out of your phone. Keeping your phone in an interior pocket will preserve its life.
Spandex Cuffs at the Sleeves–this is a nice feature for keeping wind and snow out of the arms.
For Men–If your husband is like mine, he’ll only own one coat (I own two). Make sure it is functional enough for play and shoveling, but classy enough to wear out to church and date night.
For Kids–A snow bib/buttons at the waist is a nice feature that will keep the coat in place and keep wind and snow from sneaking inside.
Spandex at the sleeve is a great feature.A snow bib (buttons at the waist) will keep snow and wind from getting up the shirt.
Boot Considerations
A checklist when shopping for boots.
Always check the ratings. These BOGS are rated to -35 and are 100% waterproof.
Waterproof–a must for both snow boots and casual boots
Check the Rating–be sure they are rated for our weather.
Tread–the tread on any footwear worn in winter should be deep.
Height–Boots for working in the snow or playing in the snow should be at least mid-height.
Moms Swear By Them–the vast majority of moms I talked to and read comments from swear by BOGs for their littles. Their pull on style makes them easy to get on and off. Just be sure they are rated for negative temps. (Gideon is wearing these in our photos and I’m wearing these.)
I don’t care if you “aren’t a hat person.” Around here, you’re a hat person from November to March. Here are some things to consider.
Cover the Ears–a hat for everyone in the family should cover the ears and not ride up. For kids it’s really nice to be able to tie or fasten a hat under the chin.
Lined Hats–I’m a fan of OmniHeat from Columbia. It traps your own body heat to keep you extra warm. This is one that I love. But a knit hat with fleece lining is also great.
Own Several–Everyone should own a couple hats. This way you’ll always have a dry one to wear.
Hand Considerations
Longer mittens are key for kids.
Here are things to look for when keeping your hand warm and dry.
Thin liner gloves that will work on your phone/touch screen to layer under a thicker pair—also great for rezipping jackets or helping put gloves back on without needing to fully expose your hands. I like these.
Thick gloves or mittens as a top layer. If you really want to look like a local get some Kincos.
Top Layer Should Be Wind and Waterproof
Have two sets of inner and outer gloves so you’ll always have a dry set
For kids, a single layer of water/wind proof mittens is good
Reinforced knees are a great feature. These are from Kamik.
For kids, bib style is best
The Knees–For kids (and adults too) snow pants that are reinforced at the knees are best
Should be wind and waterproof
For More Minot Love
I hope this has been helpful to you as you navigate what to wear for a Minot winter. Again, a huge thanks to Scheels for giving me space to find all the items I’d recommend to you in one place. For more on the winter attire and gear guide, be sure to head over to Instagram. I’ll save all the stories pertaining to winter gear in a highlight for you.
For daily encouragement on intentionally, positive living and looking at the bright side of Minot be sure to join me on Instagram and Facebook–or sign up for emails below. Remember to share this with your friends so we can all be warm and cozy this winter!
Happy Minot Monday! As many of you know, I’m expecting my second child this week. In this special edition of Minot Monday I’m sharing some great resources for moms in Minot. As always, we owe a big thank you to BeLOCAL Minot for partnering with me to make Minot Monday possible. Inside you’ll find a first hand account and tips from a mom and military wife (pg 38).
It’s hard to be a mom in a new community. Actually, some days it’s just really hard to be a mom. Challenges arise. Kids can be draining. At times momming can be very, very lonely. Today, I’ve compiled a list of resources for moms in Minot that you may not know about. These will ease some of the transition and help you on your motherhood walk.
These resources may not solve all the problems. But I believe they’ll help. Please know, this isn’t an exhaustive list. Minot has lots to offer, and our community is ever-growing with new ideas and resources. I hope these will be helpful–or will inspire you to do a little digging (or even initiate something new!)
Nicole McCarthy is a Certified Breastfeeding Specialist right here in Minot. She is a military spouse (read: able to come on base and familiar with TRICARE), mom, and passionate about helping others navigate breastfeeding. (Something most moms will tell you isn’t as easy as it seems.)
Nicole is easy to talk with, extremely knowledgeable and feels like a friend after you’ve talked for five minutes. She offers a wide range of services that will help you meet your breastfeeding goals–or create a plan that will work effectively for your family. Services include:
Prenatal consultation (in home or virtual)
In-Home Newborn consultation
Virtual Support (great for any questions that don’t require hands-on help)
Follow Up Consultations
FREE Breastfeeding supplies
As a military spouse, this next part gets me really jazzed. If you are a military spouse on TRICARE, Nicole will help you navigate the process of getting your insurance-covered breast pump! She’ll walk you through your options, explain the process for reimbursement and even has pumps on hand that you can look at an turn on before you decide which option is best for you. This service and consultation is FREE!!
In addition to these services McCarthy Lactation also hosts a support group on Minot Air Force Base at the North Plains Chapel on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of each month. See here for additional details.
Minot Baby Cafe
Very soon Minot will have its own Baby Cafe. (Expected to open November 2020.) A Baby Cafe is a FREE, drop in pregnancy and breastfeeding resource center. Baby Cafes are offered nationwide, but until now the closest Cafe for us in Minot has been in Bismarck.
Baby Cafes offer support and consult from trained staff, an encouraging environment, and group support. The services provided will help moms meet their breastfeeding goals and increase the duration of breastfeeding. Services are FREE to all pregnant and breastfeeding mothers.
Minot’s Baby Cafe will open in the Pursuit’s facility. More information can be found here. To donate to our Baby Cafe, go here.
PS–Minot’s Baby Cafe has been spearheaded by our friend Nicole of McCarthy Lactation, cool, right? Watch her website and Facebook page for information on when the Cafe is open!
Sacred Birth Space (SBS)
(Formerly Serene Circle)
I’ve had friends involved with Sacred Birth Space who have loved their experience. SBS is a “7-week natural childbirth workshop and sisterhood support; a place to connect with and share your pregnancy journey.”
It’s a place where you’ll find information and strategy for going through the birth and postpartum experience–but even better you’ll find support and community with other moms in a similar place in life, and a close due date. SBS helps mothers feel “confident in their pregnancy, birth, and motherhood experience.”
Currently all programs are virtual, but if you are an expecting mom, this is a great place to find community–and even friends that are going through the journey of motherhood alongside you.
Support with feeding, diapering, interacting, bathing, etc your newborn
Support while processing the birth experience
Caring for older children, including them in baby care
Caring for newborn so mom can rest
Light housework
Documenting your family with photos
Help with nursery organization
Creating a care plan
Answering any and all questions
MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)
MOPS offers community, friendship and support to mothers expecting a child through those entering kindergarten. This is another of our fantastic resources for moms in Minot. Here were are lucky to have two MOPS groups. Minot MOPS and BREW. This page has information on both.
MOPS is:
“Here at MOPS, we gather and support moms. We believe in the simple but revolutionary idea that remarkable things happen when moms come together. Our acronym stands for “Mothers of Preschoolers” because we began in 1973 when a group of moms with young children banded together to share their lives and parenting journeys. Over the past 45 years, MOPS has expanded our reach to include ALL moms. In addition, we are partnering with churches and organizations worldwide to equip and encourage moms in more than 68 countries.” (excerpt from the MOPS site)
Minot’s MOPS group meets at First Assembly of God on alternating Fridays. Contact the group for more information here.
The BREW Mothers of Minot
BREW stands for Brave, Real, Encouraging, Women. This group is a MOPS and MOPSnext group for mothers of children ages 0-12.
The BREW Mothers offers moms in Minot a chance to connect, learn and bond in a wide range of stages of motherhood. They meet once a month through the academic school year.
Additional Resources
Here are additional resources for moms in Minot and places to gain support during and after pregnancy:
Minot Y–group fitness or solo fitness options with childcare on site.
Dakota Hope Clinic–loads of FREE services for expectant moms in our community. Including pregnancy testing, ultrasounds (for those who qualify), STD testing, pregnancy loss support, abortion support, pregnancy options, and “Earn While You Learn” classes that cover pregnancy through toddler years.
Optimal Pregnancy Outcome Program–helps expectant mothers make informed healthy choices during their pregnancy. This program is FREE and includes services such as prenatal vitamins, counseling, breastfeeding information, and social work services.
New Parent Support Program Minot AFB–(For active duty and military spouses only). Parenting classes, play group, FREE breastfeeding consultations and support (in office or in home), infant massage instruction, adoptive parent support and services. All services offer pregnancy through a child’s third year.
Join the Community for More
For more on living and thriving in Minot, connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. I love helping others love life here! And don’t forget to check out BeLOCAL for listings and tips on local favorites.
Oh, and be sure to watch my stories on Instagram for a weekly round up of what’s happening in town. I post it each Monday evening! I hope you’ll follow along, especially this week as I share lots of special baby content in celebration of meeting our new little!
These are crazy, but true comments made to expectant moms (pregnancy comments) submitted by YOU! Read them all here, or head over to Instagram for an IGTV reading of some of my favorites!
I know I get BIG when I’m pregnant. It bothered me the first time around, but during my second go–I’ve come to accept it. This is how I carry a baby. There isn’t much I can do about it. For me, comments about my size start rolling in around 20 weeks. I get the basics, “Whoa! You’re only half way?!” “Must be twins!” “Any day now, right?”
But I also get more colorful comments. And that’s where this post stems from. Honestly, I don’t mind the comments. They’ve provided months worth of story telling, laughter and entertainment. So, after I had one of my best (worst) pregnancy encounters a couple weeks ago, I asked you–my lovely friends and community to share your stories of things strangers just had to tell you while you were pregnant. You delivered–and it’s been pure, cringe-worthy fun putting this list together. I’ll start with mine.
1. The Garage Sale
A couple weeks ago I hosted a garage sale with a friend. During the sale, we posted it to various Facebook groups and Marketplace. Someone responded, very interested in an item they saw in a photos. I told her it was $3 and available. She said she’d come pick it up.
A bit later, a van arrived. A nice man got out and picked up the item. The woman I’d been texting with said “Hi,” from the passenger seat. Then things took a weird turn.
The back sliding door opened, to reveal a full passenger set. A young girl (young as in, in her 20’s) said, “I’m just wondering, how far along are you?”
Me: I honestly haven’t kept track of weeks. I’m having a C-section on the 16th–so I’m pretty close!
Her: *ponders for a moment* It’s just that I was SO MUCH smaller than you when I was full term.
Me: *looks around awkwardly, fishing for something to say* Ok.
Her: I mean, you look fine. I was just so much smaller.
Me: Laughs. Yes, I get pretty big. It was the same with my first. I get comments all the time. It would be really nice to be like you and stay small though.
Her: Haha, yeah.
Me: Okay, well… have a good one.
Then the door closed and they drove off. And it’s fine. I wasn’t even offended. It just struck me–how BIG did I need to look for a girl to need to open the door and tell me that I am SO MUCH BIGGER than she was when she delivered?! I mean, to her, I must have been an anomaly. A sight so bizarre she just had to slide open that door and bring it up. I’m not even mad. I’m impressed.
Now Your Stories of Comments Made to Expectant Moms
Names aren’t included–just to keep things nice and anonymous. And remember, these are shared in fun. (And maybe to do just a tiny bit of educating the general public on how weird they sound when they talk to–or touch–a pregnant lady.) No responses have been changed, only edited for clarity and punctuation.
2. The 17 Week Twins
I’m a balloon when pregnant. I was 17 weeks along with my second and some older lady in the grocery store came up and touched my belly without asking and then started asking when the twins were due because it must be soon.
3. The Excited Grandpa
I was approached in the baby section at Target by an excited grandpa to be. He was like “WOW that’s one monster baby in that belly. You look skinny everywhere else!” I was like, “Hmmmmm…thanks.” We all had a good laugh.
In all fairness she was a big -9#7oz. I knew she was bigger than my son too. It was a rough last few weeks of pregnancy.
I was huge with all 3 pregnancies though. My middle baby was the biggest at 9.7# Other two were 8.7#. And I was overdue with all and induced.
4. Aladdin’s Lamp
With my first pregnancy, a guy (about my age that I barely knew) walked up to me at church and started rubbing my belly before I knew what was happening. Then commented about how he just had to touch the belly.
5. A Loss For Words
Pregnant with my 1st. I was in an elevator at the hospital (my dad had open heart surgery). I was only about 28 weeks and this random guy asked me if there were two in there. After laughing I said, “nope as far as we know just 1!” And he just said “Wow!”
6. Unwelcome Dieting Advice
Around 35 weeks with my 2nd in which I didn’t gain as much weight [as with my first] but still looked large. I was at a holiday dinner party in a fancy restaurant. Pregnancy hunger struck and I went back for 2nds then 3rds… and the nurse on staff at the time looked at me and told me I better slow down on how much I’m eating because it’s not good to over indulge. I excused myself to the bathroom and cried. Little did we know our little guy would arrive just 1.5 weeks later at 36 weeks.
7. What, Are You Bored?
Because we had multiple kids so close together, I heard the same lines on repeat… “You do know what causes that, don’t you?!” or “Don’t you guys have a TV?!” So. Many. Times.
I also got plenty of unsolicited and without permission belly touching, and comments about my belly being so HUGE, but don’t worry, because it’s totally proportional! (So the rest of me is totally huge?)
8. Repeated Inquiries
My father-in-law has severe Alzheimer’s so I’ve heard quite a few awkward things multiple times. This pregnancy, he asked me “Are you pregnant again?!” “Is it twins? Are you sure? What if you’re wrong?” “When are you going to have that baby anyway?”
9. Twins are SUCH a Blessing
My last pregnancy, I was waiting for the elevator with an elderly woman at my ob’s office. She says “Twins are such a blessing!” I reply, “Yes they are, but I’m not having twins.”
She says “Oh really? Well maybe the Dr is wrong. I had a friend who gave birth to twins and the Dr thought she was going to have one baby.” It took everything in me not to say “Well we aren’t in the 1800s anymore so that mistake rarely happens.” *insert eyeroll*
10. Are You Sure?
I was very small with both of my pregnancies. I didn’t even look pregnant until I was about 8 months. At the end when people would come up to me and say, “Oh you’re pregnant! When are you due?” I would respond with, “In a month.” They would always look at me and say, “Are you sure?!” Like I would just make up something.
11. The Rearview
My favorite was, “You don’t even look pregnant from behind!” Ummm, thanks … wasn’t aware I was supposed to?
12. Eat. The. Donut.
I gained wayyy too much with my son, yes, I know. But around 6-7 mo people made comments all the time. I’d tell strangers I wasn’t pregnant and then they would awkwardly walk away.
I had a coworker tell me- in front of patients at our office, “Do you really need to eat that donut? Haven’t you gained enough?”
…It was my first donut
13. A Designer Rub
My parents were building a house and when I met their designer, she rubbed my belly.
14. Is It Going to Happen Here?!
I was so huge during my pregnancy—doctors would just have this look of fear on their faces when they passed me in the halls in the hospital I work at… like, “Oh no! I am going to have to deliver this baby one day in this hallway?!”
15. Hand Holding
I was 6 months pregnant and working an event out in the community. I was talking to one of the event coordinators, as there was some miscommunication about vendor parking, and I was frustrated and probably visibly upset.
This complete stranger, who I’m sure had good intentions (but no sense of boundaries), walked by me and interrupted the conversation I was having with the event coordinator. She put her hand on my belly, and said, “Are you all right?”
I proceeded to slip my hand underneath hers, so that she was no longer touching my belly, but we were just holding hands. I didn’t say anything to her, just stared at her awkwardly until she let go, quickly apologized, and walked away, so I could resume the conversation she had interrupted.
16. How About That Acne?
I’m a nurse, and one of my CNAs approached me when I was about 8 weeks pregnant and asked, “Are you pregnant? I noticed you’re getting a lot of acne.”
Increased (in number and size) pimples are historical for me during my early stages of pregnancy, and my coworkers know this. RUDE!!! Way to point out the obvious (my struggling face), but I did NOT want her to have the satisfaction of knowing the little joy growing inside. She was a bit of a pest, unfortunately.
17. Should You Be Drinking?
I can count about a dozen times that new friends asked me if I had any kids while we shared a bottle of wine over dinner. I liked seeing the judgment (or genuine concern) on their face when I said we were expecting, then pausing for a beat before saying ‘don’t worry we’re not pregnant but adopting!’
18. The Well-Wishers
I’m now 31 weeks pregnant. After 12 weeks, when we started telling people, multiple people, including my mother in law, said, “I can’t wait to see you big/huge!” Or “You’ve always been so fit. It’ll be fun to see you big and out of shape.”
19. Party Animals
I was 6 months pregnant with my first daughter and got asked to a party by a college kid. But when I turned around he said, “No thanks,” and walked away. I mean, he didn’t even let me say thank you for the offer! Geez..
20. Repeat Offender
When I was 5 months along with my second… A dear and sweet, but very insensitive older lady: Wow, you must have twins in there.
Me: Nope , I’ve had a few ultrasounds. There’s only one.
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: Umm, yep…
The next week same lady: You look like you’re ready to have that baby any day….
Me: Nope, still have 4 months left…
21. The Bumpless Bump Rub
I don’t show until around 30 weeks then I POP. But I was at a wedding back home when I was only 20 weeks, and I had no bump. No one would have known I was pregnant if I hadn’t announced.
A girl I knew but didn’t know too well from high school came up to me and touched my “bump.” It was so uncomfortable because she was basically just touching my belly….. I felt so weird. I was just like, “Oh ok.. yeah there’s no bump.” So so awkward.
22. Pregnant From All Sides
A colleague while teaching told me, “Wow, you even look pregnant from behind.”
I also had a kindergartener ask me, “Are you having a baby?” I cheerfully said, “Yes!” And she said, “Oh my aunt is too and she is fat like you.”
Both occurrences I cried haha because I’m even more emotional [when I’m] pregnant!
23. Christmas Dinner
My job involves interviewing people and, oftentimes confronting people about weird personal information. When I was 8 months pregnant, I had to confront a guy about some relatively awkward info he had not shared a couple months prior.
We meet, talk, and it isn’t that pleasant. When we finish, he looks at my belly and says in the most serious and disgusted with me voice, “You must have really liked Christmas dinner.”
It is February. “I’m sorry?” I ask…not sure I understand.
He says, “Last time we met was right before Christmas. You must have loved the Christmas goodies to have put on *looks down at my belly* that much weight.”
I just stare. “Yes sir, I sure did.”
24. The Triple Threat
**This submission came via video. It’s been paraphrased by me.**
Out shopping while pregnant with my triplets. And I was huge. A woman stopped me and said, “Wow, you must be having more than one.” I said, “Yes, triplets actually.”
Then she was really shocked and said, “Oh my goodness! Where can they all be inside?” So I pointed out where they were laying. Baby A, was really low near my crotch. Baby B was laying across the front and Baby C was high up next to my boobs.
Next, she proceeded to touch all the places I just pointed out. My hoo-ha, my belly and my boobs. Really?!
25. Hoping For a Girl
When I was expecting [my third] we already had two boys. I can’t begin to recount how many times I was stopped by complete strangers telling me “I’m sure this time you’re hoping for a girl.”
26. We Haven’t Got Curtains Up Yet…
We had just moved into our newly built house, and were in the process of buying window coverings so still had bare windows.
I was nine months pregnant and enormous. As I stood in my closet, wearing my underwear and a very short robe that didn’t do a good job of hiding anything, I looked out of the closet window to see that a truck full of construction workers had just pulled into my driveway.
The worst part of the entire encounter was answering the door (after I hastily threw on some clothes) and trying to maintain some dignity as I spoke with these guys who tried to avoid smiling at my embarrassment. [It’s been] 33 years and I’m still embarrassed.
27. A Cartful
Walking through Target with my 3 girls in the cart and a very large pregnant belly, “Wow, you have your hands full!”
28. And, Finally…A Man Who Actually Knows the Right Thing To Say.
[I think] my favorite [comment] was from a kind farmer who watched me go through three pregnancies at my receptionist job.
He said something along the lines of wanting me to know how beautiful I looked, but especially while pregnant. He said it’s just so amazing and special and hoped I realized the natural, deep beauty that came with it. I will never forget it.
A Few Postpartum Tales, For Good Measure
In addition to comments made to expectant moms, several chimed in with unwelcome postpartum comments. So we might as well ad those to the list too.
1. The Wellness Coach
*This one is mine.*
Literally on the way home from the hospital. We needed to stop at Walmart for a few pumping/formula supplies. (Shocker, breastfeeding wasn’t going like a dream.)
In the baby section, an older woman looked at me and asked, “When are you due?” I got that big, new-mom smile and said, “Actually, I just had a C-section three days ago. We are on our way home now!”
She says, “Ugh, it’s going to be hard to lose all that baby weight.”
2. Where Do Triplets Come From?
**This one was submitted via video. It’s been paraphrased by me.**
My triplets were 5 months old and my husband was deployed. I needed groceries, so I packed up the babies and my toddler and headed out. I wore two of the three babies, and by the end of the shopping trip I had reached my limit. At checkout an old man stopped me and asked, “Are ALL these yours?”
Like I would go out with this many kids if I didn’t have to. “Yes.”
Then he says, “Are they natural?” At this point I think, yes, these are all natural, human babies. But I just say, “Yes.”
Then he says, “But did you need IVF or something?” By now I’ve had enough, so I told him, “No. My husband and I had sex three times in one night and this is what happened!”
3. Cheeseburger in Paradise
My most cringy comment was 9 days postpartum when someone said, “You must like to eat cheeseburgers.”
4. When Are You Due?
Six weeks AFTER my third boy was born, my husband and I went out for a birthday dinner for me, and the waitress asked me, ” Awww… When are you due?”
5. She Just Can’t Win
We named our second daughter Dorothy, Dottie for short. We had so many people come up to us while we were out and about to tell us she’s cute and ask us her name. The majority of these people were older and the usual response to her name was either, “Ohhh that’s my mother’s name” or ” Oh, that’s my name and I’ve always hated it.”
One man at our church with dementia would come up every Sunday to ask her name. His response to Dorothy was always (with a look of disgust), “Oh, that’s my ex-wife’s name.”
I got kind of tired of hearing that response every Sunday so I decided to change my answer. [One week I said,] “Her name is Margaret.” He said, “Ohhh, that was my ex-wife’s mother’s name! Don’t like that!” Seriously, I can’t win.
6. The Head Sniff
When [my daughter] was a newborn, a lady came up during communion and asked to sniff her head. Then she had the audacity to look at me like I’m the weird one when I said I had never heard of anyone doing that.
I didn’t make a scene until she left, but [my wife] could see me making faces from the front of the church.
Join In For More Fun
Thanks to everyone who responded. It’s so nice that we can look back, laugh, and bond over these unsolicited remarks. But the most important thing to recognize is that the miracle of life is so remarkable, it’s always a conversation starter.
For more fun, positivity and intentional living, join me on Instagram and Facebook. Right now, you can catch an IGTV special reading of my favorite from these reader responses. I’m passionate about teaching others the craft of intentionally seeing the positive and seeing the world through a Christ-centered lens. I hope you’ll join in. I’d love to get to know you.
Happy Minot Monday, everyone! Today is exciting to me because I’m sharing an upcoming event YOU can help make happen. I’ve gotten the inside scoop on Minot’s first annual Pumpkin Walk from fellow BeLOCAL partner, Minot Parks Dept.As always, we owe a huge THANKS to BeLOCAL Minot–for making Minot Mondays possible each week. Check them out for all kinds of tips and local favorites that will have you thriving like a local in no time.
Have you heard about Minot’s Pumpkin Walk coming up on October 16? It’s been on my radar for quite a while now. Actually, it’s the fall activity I have been most looking forward to. (It even made my fall bucket list.)
However, due to unforeseeable circumstances I won’t be attending. My scheduled C-Section got moved up, so instead of participating in Minot’s Pumpkin Walk, I’ll be recovering in the labor and delivery unit.
That comes with its own set of perks, though. But that’s for another post.
The fact that I can’t attend will in no way hamper me from telling Y-O-U all about it and why you should be excited. I sat down with Elly of the Parks Department so I could get you the very best inside info. Here’s what you need to know:
Minot’s Pumpkin Walk is… a pumpkin walk. I had no idea this was a thing, but pumpkin walks take place all over the country. (Like this HUGE Jack-o-Lantern Spectacular in Louisville, KY.) So, while it’s not a new idea, it’s new to our community. And a new idea is always something to be jazzed about.
A pumpkin walk is kind of like a Christmas light parade or walking tour, except the main attraction is carved pumpkins lighting the way.
Our pumpkin walk is taking place at the Woodland Trail. (Which is one of my very favorite walking trails in town.) Minot Parks has collected pledges of 500 carved pumpkins for the event to light the trail. It will be a spectacular sight.
Visitors to the Pumpkin Walk will walk the trail at their own pace (jogging strollers do well on the path–I’m an expert). It’s estimated that about 1.75 miles of trail will be lit up and ready for the public.
Minot’s Pumpkin Walk is a one-night spectacular scheduled for October 16 7:00-9:00pm.
Get Involved: Loan or Donate YOUR Carved Pumpkin
Fun fact, we carved these with a group last time we were living in Minot. This is the last pumpkin I carved in Minot…until this year!
This is what makes this event especially special. You can get involved. You can donate or loan your pumpkin to the walk–as long as it hasn’t been carved any earlier than today (October 5, 2020).
This is a perfect family or group activity. Get together and carve your pumpkins. Then attend the walk and spot your creations. Here are just a few ideas of groups that could have a blast participating:
Military unit
Military spouse group
Small group
Church team
Youth Group
Co-workers
Family/Friends
And everyone else…
Here are a few guidelines for donating pumpkins:
Donated pumpkins must be carved
Carve anyway you like
Make sure all stringy gunk and seeds are cleared out of the inside
Do NOT carve any earlier than October 5
Minot Parks will take care of lighting, so you do NOT need to provide a luminary.
Anyone/any group who donates more than 5 pumpkins will get signage at the event
Drop Off
Drop off your creations at the Woodland Trail the day of the event (October 16) between 2:00-5:00pm. If you can’t make that window call Minot Parks at (701) 857-4136 to make a special arrangement.
Can I Keep My Pumpkin?
Sure can! You can pick up your pumpkin any time on October 17. After that any leftovers will be disposed of or donated to be displayed at the Roosevelt Park Zoo.
What Else Should I Know?
This event is FREE! I forgot to ask if monetary donations would be accepted. My guess is yes.
Parking is limited at the Woodland Trail. Instead, park at the Dog Park (map here) or Jack Hoven Park/Softball Complex (map here). There will be a short walk from either lot to the trail head.
Individual Responsibility will be practiced in light of rising COVID 19 cases. Masks are not required but encouraged. No one will be policing distance between groups. Please maintain proper social distance.
Costumes welcome and encouraged. Feel free to come dressed in costume while you take in Minot’s Pumpkin Walk.
Get More Minot Love and Inspiration
Join me on Instagram and Facebook for more on life in Minot and daily inspiration for intentionally positive living. Also, catch my Instagram (also on Facebook) stories every Monday night for a round up of some of the week’s best upcoming events.
Remember to check out BeLOCAL for more local favorites (like a great place to eat after the Pumpkin Walk) and seasonal events. And, don’t forget to tap into all our amazing Parks Department offers the Minot community year round!
Welcome back to the Intentional Living Series. Today I’m sharing powerful but practical ways to create an intentional home. In case you missed a post, you can find them here:
In the previous installments of this series, I’ve shared a bit about my walk through anxiety, depression and mental health crisis. Intentionality in all aspects of my life was key for healing. It’s been key to my continued state of complete mental health.
Take Control of Your Home
We lock our doors. Security systems alert us to anything fishy happening on our property. Doorbell cams allow us to see who is at our door, right on our phones–no matter where we are.
We are intentional about keeping intruders out of our home. But often, the most dangerous voices in our home sneak in, in the form of books, movies, TV and media. These intruders come in because we underestimate their harm.
It’s time to get intentional and take control of what is speaking into your mind (and the minds of your family) within your own walls. Doing so will help you take your thoughts captive, and rid your mind of unwanted thoughts. It will relieve anxiety and allow you to live in a space of Truth.
Let’s get started.
What Does Intentionality At Home Look Like?
An intentional home is purposefully curated to create an atmosphere of positivity and truth.
An intentional home is orderly and consistently directs thoughts to places of positivity and Truth. An intentional home is not chaotic. Decisions are made with confidence, boundaries are clear, individuals are free to explore their God-given gifts and have clarity of mind.
An intentional home is purposefully curated to create an atmosphere of positivity and truth.
How To Create an Intentional Home
Intentionality at home begins with the action steps we talked about in Part II.Apply these same principles to what you bring into your house. To create an intentional home we’ll look at two key steps.
Auditing what you already have in your home.
Pausing before you bring anything into your home.
I’m not covering intentionality in relationships or parenting. Instead, we’ll focus on media (TV, movies, books, audiobooks, magazines, social media–and any other media you can think of) and decor/tangible items.
Audit What’s Already in Your Home
Think strategically and purposefully about what you are allowing into your home.
Auditing simply means giving close examination to something. I’m not implying you need to completely purge all your media and home decor. Only that you need to give close examination to what you’ve currently got.
When I first began living intentionally, I learned that I needed to create a filter for what I was consuming. Your list may be different than mine, that’s okay.
At the core, I want the things that I’m watching, listening to, looking at, setting before my family to “set my mind on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:2) The idea of a filter is to think strategically and purposefully about what you are allowing into your home.
Here are places to audit. (This isn’t an exhaustive list.)
TV shows you watch and stream
Movies you own, stream, and watch
Books you own, borrow from the library, discuss in clubs
Audio books you own, borrow and discuss
Magazines you own and subscribe to
Computer use
Gaming
Music you own and stream
Podcasts you listen to
Social media influencers you follow, groups you participate in, platforms you participate in
Decor with words, images or other messages
Here are examples of questions that will help you intentionally filter what you already have in your home/life:
Does this build positivity in my mind/environment?
Is this helpful to consume?
Does this glorify God? Or does this go against His Word?
Will this distract me from God’s Truth or God’s best for me/my family?
What is my heart motivation for watching/reading/keeping this?
Will consuming/keeping this in my home life exemplify Christ to nonbelievers?
Will this in any way harm my marriage?
Does this reinforce God’s Truth/the truth of His character or detract from it?
Does this feed a stronghold in my life?
Pause Before You Allow Anything Into Your Home
As you bring things or media into your home, remember to be purposeful and strategic. You are curating a space an an atmosphere.
When my mental state was very vulnerable, I knew I needed to quiet lots of voices around me. There were too many things speaking into my life. I was rarely alone in the quiet, able to hear God, discern His voice or decipher Truth from lie.
I didn’t have the mental capacity to audit. So I turned everything off. A complete fast from social media, TV, movies, audiobooks, radio, podcasts, magazines, books…
At first I only read the Bible.
Then I allowed Christian radio in the car.
Then Bible study videos when I just wanted to “watch TV” at the end of the day.
The progression stalled there for quite some time. As healing happened, I knew it was unrealistic to keep myself completely turned off from all media and the outside world. My audit had been hasty, but adding things back in was very intentional. I paused and considered before allowing anything back in.
Shows that I once loved were cut out (many without closure.) The same went for all other media–including social. At first it was hard, but the process was worth it. My mind was clear and I had a new sense of ownership and pride over my home. I had taken charge of what was coming in, how it was consumed.
Home became a sanctuary, where I knew what was coming into my mind was safe and true.
As you bring things or media into your home, remember to be purposeful and strategic. You are curating a space an an atmosphere. Pause and consider each decision carefully.
How to Pause
Hold the things you allow into your home to a high standard, you’re worth it.
To create an intentional home, you’ll need to pause too. Be strategic and purposeful when you bring anything into your home. Use the list from your audit as you put things back in place. Hold the things you allow into your home to a high standard, you’re worth it.
Explain this process to your family, especially your children. This will teach them to be intentional about what they consume from a young age. And as stated in Part II: living intentionally always has a why.
If you decide to add something to your home, watch something, play something, listen to something, etc…you should be able to give a quick “why.” A reason to defend its place in your home. A reason to defend its presence as a voice speaking into your mind.
It’s weird at first, but you can do it. With practice it will become second nature. Your mind, heart, and family will thank you.
Items in Your Home
The last thing I’ll touch on are items in your home. What kind of imagery is surrounding you, your marriage and your children? What words are displayed on your wall? When you unlock your phone, what’s in the background? What words are inscribed on your favorite mug?
Audit these things too.
As you seek to create an intentional home, don’t underestimate the power held in objects you see every day. These can speak positivity into your heart. They can set your mind on things above. Or they can pull your heart toward strongholds, lies, brash jokes (unbecoming of a child of God.) These things can help redirect your thoughts (see part III) or push your thoughts toward things of the world, doubts, lust, and lies.
Bring in objects that constantly push your thoughts heavenward. Fill your home with imagery that lifts your heart and aligns it with God.
Create an Intentional Home and an Intentional Life
I know you can do this. Start small and be consistent. Intentionality will become routine, second nature. For more inspiration for intentional living join me on Instagram and Facebook. I share tips, anecdotes and everyday devotionals that teach you to see God’s goodness in the everyday, study Scripture effectively, know God deeply and overcome anxiety and depression. Hope to see you there.
Happy Minot Monday! I’m so excited to tell you all about Berry Acres Pumpkin Patch today. This is truly a highlight of our fall here. I’m partnering with BeLOCALMinotto bring you useful, authentic insight to life in Minot. BeLOCAL is a publication dedicated to helping you live like a local and find the best of what Minot has to offer.
One staple of a Minot autumn is Berry Acres Pumpkin Patch. We’ve lived in a lot of places, and friends–this is my favorite fall attraction of all those places. There’s so much to do and see, not to mention the atmosphere is pure autumn bliss. If you haven’t gone, if you aren’t familiar–let me enlighten you. This is a good one.
What is Berry Acres Pumpkin Patch?
Ummmm…To explain it simply, Berry Acres Pumpkin Patchis fall in Minot. There are pumpkins (obviously) but there is much more. Berry Acres offers pumpkins and gourds of all kinds. From the traditional jack-o-lantern variety to heirlooms and giants that will make your front stoop the talk of the block.
Besides pumpkins (and other fresh farmers’ market goodies like jellies) the property is jam packed with activities. And every year it seems to grow with great ideas and additions. With admission you can enjoy a
corn maze
pedal carts
zip line tracks
hay bales for climbing with slides
tire mountain (and more slides)
the corn box (like a sand box, but filled with dried corn)
giant chess and checkers
swings
For a small extra fee you can:
play mini golf
ride the kiddy train
take a hay ride
go on a paint ball wagon ride
shoot the pumpkin cannon
play laser tag
see animals at the petting zoo
chip golf balls toward Birdie Island
When I say small fee–I do mean small. The prices are so reasonable. **Take note, additional activities may only be available on certain dates. Check their Facebook page for full details.**
Our Day At Berry Acres
Every year we live in Minot, an autumn trip to Berry Acres is a tradition. Each year brings a new theme (this year is Toy Story) and new activities. When we had no kids this was a really fun day to spend picking pumpkins, wandering the corn maze and taking in all the fun. Now that we’re parents, it’s even more fun because we can share it with our little.
We headed over after church and a quick lunch. Before nap, we climbed hay bales, explored slides, felt all the unique pumpkins, rode on swings and pet the baby animals in the petting zoo.
It was so much fun (and Sunday is our rest day), we decided to come back after nap time was over. During our second trip out we revisited Gideon’s favorites: the tire mountain, hay bales and slides. Then we did zip tracks, the corn maze and picked three perfect pumpkins to take home.
This was an idyllic autumn day. This is wonderful tradition to start with your family.
Where is Berry Acres Pumpkin Patch?
Berry Acres Pumpkin Patch is easy to find. It’s off of County Road 15 W. Just west of town. You can access it from the 83 Bypass, or follow 4th Ave NW out of town (4th turns into CR 15 W). Here’s the map.
Country Road 15 W is a beautiful road full of fall color at this time of year. Berry Acres is easy to spot, but you need to look for a sign you might not expect. The roadside sign does not say “Berry Acres Pumpkin Patch.” It says “Green Thumb Greenhouse.” When you see the sign, you’re at the right place.
More Minot Fun
For more Minot fun be sure to follow along on Facebook and Instagram where I share inspiration for intentional living and positivity about Minot everyday. In my stories I share a weekly roundup of fun things happening in town each every Monday and a look at life in Minot everyday. And remember to check out BeLOCAL to find even more local favorites and seasonal events.
I’ve seen it work in my own life, in my own walk with anxiety and depression. Today, I’m sharing action steps to start living intentionally everyday.
Between 2014 and 2016 something happened to my brain. The term “break down” has a bad connotation. But things started to fall apart in my brain during the summer of 2014. I continued down a slippery slope until things really came to a head in the winter of 2015. By then, things had really eroded. I refused to accept that the mental state (anguish) I was experiencing was my “new normal.”
In the early months of 2016 I found a counselor who told me it didn’t need to be this way. After spending nearly two years in mental agony and seeking help for about 18 months, he was the first professional who told me healing was possible. He was the first person who believed I could overcome and fully heal.
He was right.
When I Started to Living Intentionally Everyday
When I entered counseling, I was learning many things and trying to put them into practice. In essence, to create “new, normal” thinking patterns–after many years of patterns that had culminated in cyclical anxiety and depression. I won’t go into all the details, but I will tell you that I asked God to give me a word that I could use as a mantra. Something that summed up many of the things I was learning. The word He laid on my heart?
Intentionality.
Intentionality in who I listened to, what I accepted as truth, to root out lies, about how I spent my time and what I said yes to. I needed to cultivate intentionality in the words that I spoke (especially to myself), boundaries I established and what came into my home (and mind.)
Intentionality is a force that started small, and truly transformed the way I thought and the overwhelm in my mind.
Intentionality is a mind game. And it’s a game you can win. It starts by putting purpose and thought into your everyday decisions. That grows into confidence and a routine that will flow out into the rest of your life. Leaving you calmer, knowing that your commitments aren’t controlling you, and with headspace (and time) to take on tasks God designed you for.
Today I’m sharing a few action steps you can take toward living intentionally everyday.
Decide
When I talk to friends about intentionality and anxiety something that comes up over and over is decision making. The thought of making a decision–or a wrong decision–causes sweaty palms and a medusa-like freeze up.
Intentionality is a mind game.At first it feels awkward, because it’s a new way of thinking. You’ve spent years training your mind to freeze up at the thought of making a choice. Living intentionally everyday, starts and ends with making intentional decisions. Start building your confidence today by purposefully making small choices each day.
Rehearse Out Loud
Set yourself up to make some easy decisions. Then practice saying it out loud. Truth is, you make choices all day, everyday. Practicing out loud (in front of your child, spouse, or home alone) will help you see that you aren’t as terrible at making choices as you may think.
When you decide what to do next, what to eat, etc say it. State the decision and a why. The why is important–this is the intentional part. “I’m going to fold laundry now because it’s an activity the kids can help with. I’ll deep clean the bathroom later, while they are napping.”
You might feel silly, but you’ve got to start somewhere.
As you make these small decisions, stick to them. A great place to practice is with a child. State your decision, then follow through. “Two more times down the slide, then we need to go home for dinner.” Say it. Do it.
Audit
Living intentionally everyday means you need to examine what is currently in your life, and make cuts as needed. Here are ways to get started.
Audit Your Daily To-Do List
Lots of my anxiety (even panic) was induced from a task list that was too long and too powerful. If I didn’t get it done, I felt guilty, thought I couldn’t do anything right, and fed myself lies of low self-worth.
Here are action steps to audit your to-do list.
Make a conscious decision to say “no” to a task. Mark it off as you prioritize other tasks. I found saying it aloud or in my head–the choice and the “why”–to be helpful. “I’m not going to get the floor mopped today. It’s more important to take advantage of the nice weather and go to the zoo before it closes for winter.”
Accept that you can’t do it all. Refrain from guilt. “I need to finish painting the nursery. That means tidying up the living room will need to wait.”
Audit Your Intake
What are you taking in? Mentally? Emotionally? Educationally? What are you absorbing through social media, TV, music? What voices speak into your mind, heart and family?
At the height of my mental health crisis I turned everything off. For a season I left social media, TV, audiobooks, books and movies. I read and listened only to the Bible or Bible study videos. I limited who I spoke to and shared my struggles with. Eventually I turned things back on. But bad habits had been broken and I was able to make healthier, more intentional choices.
Audit Your Home
Similar to auditing your intake, you can take steps toward intentionality by examining what is currently in your home and what you bring in. Are you surrounded with positive messages? Or oppressive clutter? Are you bringing in items haphazardly because you don’t want to see them thrown away? Or thoughtfully choosing what crosses your threshold?
Audit Your Commitments
Purposefully look at the commitments filling your calendar. Are you overwhelmed? Challenge: cut out one commitment. Use polite, but firm language. I assure you, nearly everyone is more understanding about your need to step away than you are.
**I don’t encourage you to leave a team in the lurch. Wrap up your duties and step down. Or speak to the person in charge to make a plan to transition out.
Pause
Pausing is critical to living intentionally everyday. It’s a technique that you’ll benefit from the rest of your life. It goes like this: just pause.
After you’ve audited, start pausing before you add anything back in.
When asked to do something, pause. If you are spending money–first pause. Responding to a fussy toddler or sassy teen? Pause. Adding something to your to-do list? Pause. Turning on the TV, renting a movie, downloading a new audio book? Pause.
Intentionality is purposeful, not a knee-jerk reaction. Practice pausing and taking a moment, or days to come up with an intentional, well-thought response. This will open space in your schedule, home, and mind for things that matter, things that excite your heart and use your God-given gifts.
Own It
Own the decisions you make. The opposite of intentional living is random living. This is not the design God had in mind for us.
We were designed with purpose, structure, order. It’s no wonder that our minds and hearts are more at ease when these principles are in play within our everyday existence.
Random living puts power in forces that are not meant to have dominion over you. Intentional living gives that power back. Own each decision you make. Manifest the truth that you are in control.
If you intentionally decide something and it goes totally amiss–just make another decision. You had reason for choosing what you did. Sometimes things just go wrong. Make a different choice next time…or make a choice right now to get things back on track.
Practice
Like most things worth pursuing, intentionality will take practice and self discipline. However, it will get easier. Commit to practicing a more intentional lifestyle. Choose one of the action steps above to start with. Then add another as you become practiced at the first.
Set a small goal, then take intentional steps toward accomplishing it. Think very small and very specific. Examples: Memorizing one Bible verse each week for a month. Going for a walk everyday for a week. Getting to bed 30 minutes earlier for a week. Etc.
More On Living Intentionally Everyday
Next week’s Intentional Living post will cover taking our thoughts captive and practicing intentionality in our thinking.
In the meantime, I’d love it if you joined me on Facebook and Instagram where I share about cultivating intentionality and a Christ-centered perspective daily. And remember to share this if it’s helped you or touched your heart!
Renew your zeal for the Bible with three days of exclusive devotionals! Interesting and relevant writings and reflection questions will remind you why the Word of God is so awesome. You'll learn a lot and you'll leave excited to know God more and grow deeper in your faith.
Your kick-start is on the way!
You've always dreamed of reading the Bible in chronological order. Now you can!
Getting my printable PDF plan is easy. It's not fancy, but it does fold easily into a bookmark, so you can keep it close by and easily see what's coming next. I hope you find it as useful as I do.
**Remember to check your PROMOTIONS FOLDER. Even if your confirmation comes to your normal inbox, the actual download may come to that pesky promotions folder instead!**
