As we come into the New Year, I know lots of us are thinking about goal setting. Some may already be frustrated by goals that already don’t seem to be panning out. Today, I’m talking about Christian goal setting. I’m sharing what I’ve learned from years of setting the wrong kinds of goals and how I recovered from the hurt of unmet goals and failures.
This post is the first in a series. Here are others you might like:
You know I am committed to being transparent and authentic here. So I won’t sugar coat this next confession: I am a bad goal setter. I know how to set goals. In my mind I have plenty of head-knowledge about setting appropriate goals and taking the right steps to work toward them. I’ve written about goals and offered council to others about goals.
But at the end of the day, I rarely take my own advice. Thus, I–Amy Allender–am a very bad goal setter.
I set the wrong goals for myself. My approach to the goals is wrought with missteps. Then at the end of the calendar year, when it’s time for assessment, I feel defeated, deflated, devalued and plenty of other “de” words. I have spent many years looking back in reflection and the thought that overshadows all the sweet memories and accomplishments is that “I’ve failed.”
All along I thought I was pursuing Christian goal setting, because I was a Christian…setting goals. But I was mistaken.
There have been many New Year’s seasons in which I’ve dreamed up what I wished and hoped the next New Year would look like–only to be disappointed when the ideal in my mind doesn’t match the reality. This isn’t always my fault. Many things get in the way: moves, jobs, unexpected loss, new opportunities, separation, stress, illness, etc. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve spent many a January feeling another year older, believing I’ve failed because the December 31 me didn’t look the way the January 1 me had envisioned.
Giving Goals Too Much Impact
Last year I pretty much ditched resolutions and New Year goal setting all together. Instead, I focused only on grace. Something that had been missing from my New Year assessment for many years. I spent January trying out a few new patterns and habits–like a test-drive month. I kept a few, I threw the rest aside. And I committed to being graceful to myself as my ideals, goals and ideas shifted, changed, were completed or abandoned.
What I learned is that without trying or being conscious of it, I was allowing my goals (met or unmet) to impact the amount of value I perceived myself to have. My goals didn’t have all the power–but they had some. The truth is, our goals (met or unmet) have nothing to do with our value. Every person is made in God’s image and therefore is invaluable. Only God can supply a safe and sturdy surface for my identity and value to lay upon. Anything else is too fragile and too prone to sink holes.
Exploring Godly Goals
I’ve learned that true Christian goal setting (setting godly goals) looks much different that simply setting secular goals.
After spending all of 2019 focusing on being graceful toward myself when it comes to goals and “success,” I ended the year joyful and content.
This year I want to keep moving in this positive trajectory. After a year off of traditional goal setting I started to wonder what God has to say about goals. How did key Biblical figures work toward goals? Did they have goals? What kind of goals should I be setting? Should I set goals at all?
In short, “What does Christian goal setting look like?”
I’ve spent the beginning of the new year looking deeply into what the Bible has to say about Christian goal setting and godly goals. In true Bible-geek form, I could barely put my Bible down when it was time to stop. I made notes, cross referenced, dug through the concordance and hit the thesaurus. I discovered that the Bible has a lot to say about goals. I’ll be sharing all my findings on that next week in a follow up post.
Christian Goal Setting: Put Goals in Their Proper Place
Before we can appreciate what Scripture says about godly goal setting, we need to put goals into their proper place.
Remember how I told you I used to struggle with feeling like an old failure on December 31? For me, that was a sure sign that I was giving goals more stock in my identity and value than they deserved. Before you set goals or intentions, make sure these truths truly manifest in your heart.
Goals are works.
Goals are works. Our works can accompany our faith. They can be an outward sign of our faith, but works are a separate entity from Salvation or justification before God. Christ saves us from the true death we all deserve. Christ alone justifies us as worthy and right before God. (There are many verses pertaining to this–below is just one example.)
…know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified.
Every single person who has ever been born or ever will be born is made in God’s image. “Made in God’s image” is part of our identity. Our intention should not be to look like Sally-who-lives-next-door (another mortal also made in God’s image)–but to look more like Christ, our Savior.
Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
If you understand that misdeeds and imperfection separate you from the one and only, perfect God of all the universe and creation–and believe that Jesus (God’s son, fully man yet fully God) bridged that gap by atoning for those misdeeds to fully reconcile you back to God–you are “saved.” Saved from true death. Saved from a life lived apart from the God who made you. You are seen as fully right before God, fully adopted as His child. Just as earthly parents love their children (adopted or biological) God loves His children.
As adopted children, God gives us an identity. He offers us a name, a place to belong, a purpose, and an inheritance.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.
God knows us. There is nothing we can hide from Him. He created us and understands us in intimate ways we will never fully understand. God’s ideal for our lives is that we look more like him and less like the world. Scripture warns against working in selfish ambition. Godly goals will never be self serving. Before you set new goals, pray to align your heart with God. Ask Him to reveal any selfish motives behind your intentions.
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
Next week I’ll be back with part II of this discussion, fully ready to show you all that I’ve learned about Christian goal setting and godly goals. Some of it just might surprise you. Until then, I’d love if you joined me over on Instagram. Thanks for being here!
Want more on godly goals? Check out the rest of the series!
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The smug face of a traveler who is fascinated by North Dakota airports.
Happy Minot Monday! Lots of us have been traveling for the holidays. Now that we are settling back into a regular routine, isn’t it time to think about spring travel plans? It’s no secret that I love living life in Practically Canada, however travel from Minot can be tricky. Whether that’s because you have a hard time finding a flight, or accepting the hours you’ll need to spend in the car…or you are simply shocked by the oddity that is North Dakota airports–I’ve got you covered. Today’s Minot Monday covers everything you need to know about flying out of Minot for your next big trip. (Future Minto Monday posts will cover car travel and train travel.)
Last time we lived in Minot I had friends ask me all the time how I convinced people to come visit. Most people hear the words “North Dakota” and immediately decide that they don’t want to live here, let alone visit. Before you can convince them to come for a visit they’re already talking about the winters being too cold and the fact that there’s nothing to do. (I hear these excuses even in the summer when it’s anything but cold and definitely not boring.) Come to think of it, maybe I should write a Minot Monday post about convincing friends to come visit.
The clincher for me is never convincing people they should come for a visit–it’s working out the logistics of how to get someone here. The same is true on the flip side. Planning trips out of Minot can be equally challenging. Flying from Minot is rarely direct and often pricey. But don’t let that stop you. Flying from Minot is also filled with sitcom (or Gilmore Girls-esque) terminals and characters. There’s no perfect formula, but I’m happy to share the good, bad and quirky that I’ve discovered when it comes to travel from Minot.
Flying From Minot | A few anecdotes
My preferred method of travel from Minot is flying. The first time I arrived in Minot it was July 2012. I had flown from Shreveport, LA to Denver to Minneapolis to Minot. A slightly drugged Panda-cat was my carry on luggage. It took all day. And I do mean all day. I had never set foot in North Dakota, now I was about to live here.
When I got off the plane and exited the jet bridge I was totally taken aback. I was standing in the smallest commercial airport I’d ever seen. I was frazzled from the day and eager to get something to eat and see Derek (we’d been apart for about two months at this point.) Because I was so exhausted I noticed very little except the size of the building and that there were only about four gates, all totally visible in the rectangular room.
Later, as I took more flights out of Minot, I came to understand that travel from Minot was a truly unique situation. Although everyone in town warned of long security lines (sometimes I heard of them nearly out the door), security never took me longer than 15 minutes. I don’t think I ever waited behind more than five people.
As stated, the gates were all fully visible at once. Rows of seats filled the space, most travelers (including myself after living in Minot for a year or so) would run into someone they knew while waiting for a flight. Once, while waiting for a flight, an employee walked to the middle of the terminal, cleared her throat and said, “Excuse me.” She wasn’t shouting, or using the intercom–but the whole room quieted down.
“Somebody dropped their keys.” She held them up for all to see. “I’ll have them up here at the desk. Everybody, just check to make sure you’ve got yours.” A minute later a man walked up to the desk to claim his keys.
There’s something special there, right?
There was a small snack bar inside security. For as long as anyone could remember one of the items listed was a “Hot Dawg.”
Once, after claiming our luggage, I left my laptop bag in near the baggage carousel. I realized when I got home. Derek went back and to discover it was waiting behind the desk. “As soon as you walked out, someone brought it up. We figured you’d be back quickly,” the man working told him.
Sadly, that tiny airport is gone now. It’s been replaced by a more modern model–but the feel of the experience is much the same. The “new” airport (as it’s still called in many local circles) is bigger and more spread out. While the “old” airport always felt busy because everyone waiting for a flight was seated close together, the “new” airport nearly always feels empty.
It’s clean. There are plenty of seats. The windows are beautiful. Again, if you are used to flying from a larger hub–security lines will floor you with their brevity. There is a snack bar…but don’t hold your breath. They no longer offer the Hot Dawg.
Flying From Minot
If you’d like to pursue air travel from Minot your best bet is to fly out of Minot (obviously) or Bismarck. The Bismarck airport is just shy of two hours away from Minot, but sometimes you can get a heck of a deal. (Since you’ll need to drive down, keep parking in mind. Don’t worry though–it maxes out at $40/week.)
The Bismarck airport is a lot like Minot’s. While traveling for the holidays we flew from Bismarck. It’s small, clean and friendly. Again, there is no music playing over the intercom. So you can sit in silence–or watch one of the living-room-sized TVs sprinkled around the terminal. Unlike large airports that might feel the need to micromanage what you watch, the TV remotes are left out in Bismarck for travelers to use and watch whatever they like. (I shared our real-time Bismarck airport experience on my Instagram and Facebook stories.)
Seriously, is North Dakota for real? This place is awesome. Flying from MOT (The Minot International Airport)
If you choose to fly from Minot or Bismarck here some tips and things to keep in mind.
Don’t pay for parking in Minot. Parking rates at MOT are $12/day or $72/week. The city of Minot is so small and well connected. A ride to the airport will take less than 15 minutes from most parts of town. Ask a friend or take a taxi/Lyft.
Be a flexible traveler. Flying from our small airports means rates tend to be high. The more flexible your dates, the better chance at getting a good deal. I like to use Kayak’s month view to find the best price.
Set an airfare alert. This goes hand in hand with being flexible. If you know where you’d like to go (like to your hometown to visit family) or where certain friends would fly out to come visit Minot–you can watch the rates and be alerted when they drop.
Remember to check alternate airports. Try to get creative with your flights. Be open to flying out of Bismarck instead of Minot–or flying in to an airport that might be a short drive from your final destination.
Be open to creative routes. Hacker fares that may require you to change airlines during your layover can save you big money flying out of small airports. This works especially well if you can pack light enough to only need a carry on.
Understand and accept you’ll be on a very small aircraft. The planes coming in and out of Minot (and Bismarck) are small. Accept that fact. You will not be able to bring a full-sized roller carry-on on board. They’ll gate check it for you (meaning you’ll leave it on the jet bridge and pick it up on the jet bridge upon landing.) Depending on the airline you may be charged an additional fee for a roller carry-on.
Airlines Serving Minot
Delta
United
Allegiant
Allegiant Direct Flights from Minot
Direct from Minot to Pheonix and Las Vegas are available through Allegiant Air. Fares are cheap, so this is a good way to escape the winter chill or meet up with family/friends who refuse to come all the way north (their loss.)
Airlines Serving Bismarck
Delta
United
American
Allegiant
Frontier
Allegiant Direct Flights from Bismarck
Daytona Beach. FL
Orlando, FL
Las Vegas, NV
Phoenix, AZ
I hope this helps–even a little. Here’s to a New Year full of fun travels and lots of visitors!
A few weeks back my schedule was saturated with sessions. I’m finally coming to the end of processing some of those sessions and I’m so very happy with the results. You’ve already seen Jordan’s snowy senior session from that time frame. Now I proudly present…Brooks! I had so much fun on this session. Newborn boy photography is such a sweet treat–especially since I get to break out the tiny-ties!!
He was welcomed into this world by a very loving mommy, daddy, big brother and golden retriever. I was welcomed into the home to shoot these precious images by the proud parents and the big brother–who wasn’t wearing pants, but was bearing a bo-staff, a la the Ninja Turtle Donatello. He was a little apprehensive of having me in his house. His mom was apprehensive about him not wearing pants. But the tension was lifted once I proved myself a true Turtles fan–I sang the theme song and named all the turtles and their choice of weapon. {Donatello happens to be my favorite too.}
Anyway, once we were all on happy terms we had a lovely session. These two brothers are just adorable. And so photogenic! First sibling portraits are always such a treat to shoot.
Brooks was atypical in the fact that he stayed awake for nearly the entire session. Usually once a baby is snuggly warm and resting on super soft blankets and pillows they just can’t help but fall asleep. Not Brooks! He was so alert and well behaved. Just look at these big, curious eyes!
Eventually–he did dose off for a little bit. Maybe it had to do with the cozy hat on his head….
Brooks’ daddy is a hunter. So, we took a few moments to get some images of this future sure-shot with a special home-made blanket…and of course Brooks’ furry sibling.
I’m so very grateful to have been invited into this home to capture these first portraits. Thank you so very much for trusting me with these precious moments. Your flash drive will be in the mail this week!
Lately I’ve been having project withdraw. Derek has been busy with work, I’ve been busy with work–which feels very weird, since winter is usually my “slow” season. We’ve started slowly moving on the basement. Emphasis on slowly. But, like I said–Derek is busy at the moment. And I, unfortunately, am still unable to undertake a large project on my own {still having a few back issues.} So, like I said, I’ve been going through a little withdraw. A little I-wish-I-had-something-to-work-on. A little I’m-dying-for-a-B&A.
Since I’m not one to sit around wishing for a project, I’ve decided to take on something I’ve been wanting to do for quite some time. Nearly six years, actually. It’s just never been a priority. I never really sat down and decided how I wanted to tackle it. Until now.
This is my coffee table.
It’s beautiful. I love it. It belonged to my grandparents–as did it’s two companion end tables. They are lovely too.
The pieces feature sturdy, interesting legs, good structure and a solid marble top. It’s not the nicest wood in the world, but it’s not that compressed saw dust a lot of today’s furniture is made of…and it’s a heck of a lot nicer than anything we could have picked up at Target or Ikea. I am incredibly lucky to have inherited such nice things.
I tell you this, because I want to stress that it’s not the piece I’m unhappy with. It’s the finish. You see, my grandparents were smokers for most of their lives, and the furniture has suffered the effects of second hand smoke. {I’m sure the age of the finish isn’t helping much either.} There is a gummy film on it’s surface. It’s been there as long as I can remember. In six years I haven’t been able to properly clean it. It just gets worse with every move…the packing blankets and straps dig in to the gummy surface and leave a textured impression on the finish. After four moves, the finish is really looking like it’s seen better days. Since it’s a little tacky–just a little–it also collects dust and cat hair. It’s hard to capture in photos, but I did my best.
When I’ve tried to clean it {using every product under the sun} I’ve only a) not improved it at all -or- b) rubbed the finish off completely.
So, in the next week or so, I’m going to try my hand at giving these puppies new life. I love them too much to paint them–so I’m going to first simply try to strip them down and salvage the wood. If that doesn’t work…I’ll make a plan B. I’ll be starting by using some left over products from the cabinet redo. You may remember me raving about the Rustoleum Cabinet Transformations kit. They make a similar product for furniture–but since I had some left over {thanks to my tiny kitchen} I’m going to start by removing the finish on the tables with the cabinet stripper.
I find that sometimes the hardest part about walking the Christian faith is talking the talk of faith. Now, I don’t mean catching on to the Christian jargon that crops up in small groups and church committee meetings {that’s a post for another day.} I mean actually talking about my faith on an average day, in my every day interactions.
Lately I’ve made a concentrated effort to try to bring up Christ, God, the Spirit, and faith in every day life…in a way that is totally normal {for me that means not too awkward}, that doesn’t read as preachy or snobby. I want my faith to be such a key part of me that it spills out naturally onto every part of my life and every interaction in my day.
I’m in no way perfect {#obvious} but I have improved. Here are seven things that have helped me talk a better, less weird talk. I hope they help you too.
1. Get comfortable by chatting with like-minded friends. My comfort level in the faith department grew by leaps and bounds when I found a solid group of friends who had Christ on the mind. We are all striving to set our eyes on Him, so whether we are having a low-key Yahtzee night or dinner out, spiritual topics usually come onto the table. How are we growing, what are we struggling with, what are we learning from our Bible study? When we vent about our problems, someone is quick to give solid, Scriptural-based advice. This atmosphere is a perfect place to get comfortable talking the talk.
2. Get involved with your faith. If you start serving in church {with the nursery, youth group, a committee, pot lucks, greeters…} you’ll be contributing to the body of Christ, while giving yourself some totally normal talking points. It’s inevitable that someone will ask you what you’ve been up to lately. When that question arises, you can tell them about the crazy kid in the nursery, or how you were helping with a funeral that served the weirdest food, or how you are just blown away by the wisdom exhibited by teens in the youth group. That opens up a whole conversation and an easy avenue for sharing your heart for your ministries and passion for being involved in the body.
3. Read something. People love chatting about what they’ve read lately. Pick up some faith-based fiction, or a non-fiction read that will stretch your faith. Find a small group through your church that is reading a book together and join in. You’ll learn something, probably gain new perspective on a subject, and have a talkable topic on hand. Bonus points if you do decide to meet with a group…then you’ll be able to tell others about your book club, the book you’re reading, and what you’ve learned.
4. Go somewhere. Attend a faith-based event. A music festival {like this one}, theater production {my all time favorite}, Cantata, or concert is a good place to start. These kinds of events will inspire you and they are great opportunities to bring a friend along to a Christian event that isn’t your typical Sunday morning experience. Going somewhere gives you all kinds of ways to bring your faith into the conversation…it’s your Saturday night plan, invite others along, and you can talk about how awesome it was after it’s over.
5. Know who you’re talking about. It’s easier to talk about someone you know than a stranger. Spend time in the Word and in prayer. Let your faith grow, learn something new. The Bible is full of exciting history and wisdom. Spend time reading, maybe even read the same passage or chapter for several days in a row. You’ll gain insight and probably become pretty jazzed about what you’ve picked up. When you get to know someone super cool, amazing and interesting–you just can’t help but bring them up. When you get to know God, truly know Him, I’m confident that you’ll become excited about Him {and all His perfectly glorious characteristics, amazing plan of Salvation and grace, and awesomely righteous nature}…in turn, you’ll be ready to share.
6. Become a sponsor. I’ve heard lots of genuine, unawkward conversations start when someone lays eyes on a Compassion child’s photo tacked up on the fridge. If you aren’t familiar with the program, go here. Becoming a sponsor does something wonderful for a child overseas. Not only do they receive medical care, clothing and education…they get a relationship with an adult mentor who cares for them, and Bible classes that feed them spiritually. It’s affordable and such a worthwhile organization. Once you start forming a relationship with your child it’s hard not to talk about them. You’ll want to share what you learn about them through letters. And, if friends do ask about the photo of a child on the fridge that looks nothing like you…you’ll be able to tell them about the program and why you choose to be a part of it.
7. Memorize something. Ever since I started memorizing Colossians, I cannot shut up about Colossians. I’m learning so much, I have Scripture in my mind that I can reference and insert into conversation, and it’s pretty interesting that I’m attempting to memorize such a big piece chunk of text. This has been a fantastic tool for me when it comes to talking the talk. Having Scripture fresh in my mind each day allows me to bring it up in conversation, use it to encourage, and even quote it when I pray aloud {another sometimes scary thing.} It’s easier to sound natural when interjecting Scripture into conversation when you are confident you’re saying it right, you fully understand the context, and you’ve been saying it aloud to yourself for days and days. More on the technique I’m using here. More on what I’m learning and why I love it here.
There’s a common thread through all of these things that will help you grow more comfortable with talking about your faith: Action. Our faith will remain an awkward and weird topic if we force it to remain confined to Sunday mornings and certain holidays. When our faith in Christ becomes deeply attached to our day-to-day life, conversations about it stop feeling forced and start to seem totally normal. When we allow our faith to become part of who we are, what we do, and how we think it becomes something we naturally want to talk about and are comfortable doing so.
I hope these things have helped you. Or at least given you a couple ideas, if you are having a hard time integrating your faith into your life. Give it a whirl…it’s fun when you do!
So, yesterday I showed you the finished product of my weekend of hard work on the stairs. I just couldn’t resist putting together one more B&A photo. Today I’ll give you the skinny on how I did it.
The first thing you need to know is that I’m not especially skilled. If I can do it, you can do it.
All it takes is some elementary school craft skills, painter’s tape and a little patience. (more…)
You know I’m a bit of a color-phobe. The one color I’m not afraid of?
White.
It’s fresh. It’s clean. It’s timeless.
When something is dated beyond repair, the first thing I want to do is paint it white. I like color on my walls, but I adore a room framed in pretty white. It’s so crisp and neat looking. Like a well ironed tablecloth.
So, we’ve started sloshing white around the living/dining room. Starting with the dark, sloppily stained built in hutches in the dining room. I know, it’s a rough preview…but it’ll have to do. And as Der-Bear and I like to say…”There’s no going back now.” The white is officially on and we are only going up from here. Our next victim? That wood paneling!
This project will be on hold in DIY purgatory until next Monday. Why, you ask? Well, friends…let me tell you. I’m lucky enough to have two wonderful friends who live in California and let me come visit. I leave today. I’ll be home in a week. I can’t wait for all the adventures in store. With this girl.
And this guy.
I’ll be posting on and off, but forgive me if I’m hit and miss this week. I really will miss you dearly.
Amy
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