These are crazy, but true comments made to expectant moms (pregnancy comments) submitted by YOU! Read them all here, or head over to Instagram for an IGTV reading of some of my favorites!
I know I get BIG when I’m pregnant. It bothered me the first time around, but during my second go–I’ve come to accept it. This is how I carry a baby. There isn’t much I can do about it. For me, comments about my size start rolling in around 20 weeks. I get the basics, “Whoa! You’re only half way?!” “Must be twins!” “Any day now, right?”
But I also get more colorful comments. And that’s where this post stems from. Honestly, I don’t mind the comments. They’ve provided months worth of story telling, laughter and entertainment. So, after I had one of my best (worst) pregnancy encounters a couple weeks ago, I asked you–my lovely friends and community to share your stories of things strangers just had to tell you while you were pregnant. You delivered–and it’s been pure, cringe-worthy fun putting this list together. I’ll start with mine.
1. The Garage Sale
A couple weeks ago I hosted a garage sale with a friend. During the sale, we posted it to various Facebook groups and Marketplace. Someone responded, very interested in an item they saw in a photos. I told her it was $3 and available. She said she’d come pick it up.
A bit later, a van arrived. A nice man got out and picked up the item. The woman I’d been texting with said “Hi,” from the passenger seat. Then things took a weird turn.
The back sliding door opened, to reveal a full passenger set. A young girl (young as in, in her 20’s) said, “I’m just wondering, how far along are you?”
Me: I honestly haven’t kept track of weeks. I’m having a C-section on the 16th–so I’m pretty close!
Her: *ponders for a moment* It’s just that I was SO MUCH smaller than you when I was full term.
Me: *looks around awkwardly, fishing for something to say* Ok.
Her: I mean, you look fine. I was just so much smaller.
Me: Laughs. Yes, I get pretty big. It was the same with my first. I get comments all the time. It would be really nice to be like you and stay small though.
Her: Haha, yeah.
Me: Okay, well… have a good one.
Then the door closed and they drove off. And it’s fine. I wasn’t even offended. It just struck me–how BIG did I need to look for a girl to need to open the door and tell me that I am SO MUCH BIGGER than she was when she delivered?! I mean, to her, I must have been an anomaly. A sight so bizarre she just had to slide open that door and bring it up. I’m not even mad. I’m impressed.
Now Your Stories of Comments Made to Expectant Moms
Names aren’t included–just to keep things nice and anonymous. And remember, these are shared in fun. (And maybe to do just a tiny bit of educating the general public on how weird they sound when they talk to–or touch–a pregnant lady.) No responses have been changed, only edited for clarity and punctuation.
2. The 17 Week Twins
I’m a balloon when pregnant. I was 17 weeks along with my second and some older lady in the grocery store came up and touched my belly without asking and then started asking when the twins were due because it must be soon.
3. The Excited Grandpa
I was approached in the baby section at Target by an excited grandpa to be. He was like “WOW that’s one monster baby in that belly. You look skinny everywhere else!” I was like, “Hmmmmm…thanks.” We all had a good laugh.
In all fairness she was a big -9#7oz. I knew she was bigger than my son too. It was a rough last few weeks of pregnancy.
I was huge with all 3 pregnancies though. My middle baby was the biggest at 9.7# Other two were 8.7#. And I was overdue with all and induced.
4. Aladdin’s Lamp
With my first pregnancy, a guy (about my age that I barely knew) walked up to me at church and started rubbing my belly before I knew what was happening. Then commented about how he just had to touch the belly.
5. A Loss For Words
Pregnant with my 1st. I was in an elevator at the hospital (my dad had open heart surgery). I was only about 28 weeks and this random guy asked me if there were two in there. After laughing I said, “nope as far as we know just 1!” And he just said “Wow!”
6. Unwelcome Dieting Advice
Around 35 weeks with my 2nd in which I didn’t gain as much weight [as with my first] but still looked large. I was at a holiday dinner party in a fancy restaurant. Pregnancy hunger struck and I went back for 2nds then 3rds… and the nurse on staff at the time looked at me and told me I better slow down on how much I’m eating because it’s not good to over indulge. I excused myself to the bathroom and cried. Little did we know our little guy would arrive just 1.5 weeks later at 36 weeks.
7. What, Are You Bored?
Because we had multiple kids so close together, I heard the same lines on repeat… “You do know what causes that, don’t you?!” or “Don’t you guys have a TV?!” So. Many. Times.
I also got plenty of unsolicited and without permission belly touching, and comments about my belly being so HUGE, but don’t worry, because it’s totally proportional! (So the rest of me is totally huge?)
8. Repeated Inquiries
My father-in-law has severe Alzheimer’s so I’ve heard quite a few awkward things multiple times. This pregnancy, he asked me “Are you pregnant again?!” “Is it twins? Are you sure? What if you’re wrong?” “When are you going to have that baby anyway?”
9. Twins are SUCH a Blessing
My last pregnancy, I was waiting for the elevator with an elderly woman at my ob’s office. She says “Twins are such a blessing!” I reply, “Yes they are, but I’m not having twins.”
She says “Oh really? Well maybe the Dr is wrong. I had a friend who gave birth to twins and the Dr thought she was going to have one baby.” It took everything in me not to say “Well we aren’t in the 1800s anymore so that mistake rarely happens.” *insert eyeroll*
10. Are You Sure?
I was very small with both of my pregnancies. I didn’t even look pregnant until I was about 8 months. At the end when people would come up to me and say, “Oh you’re pregnant! When are you due?” I would respond with, “In a month.” They would always look at me and say, “Are you sure?!” Like I would just make up something.
11. The Rearview
My favorite was, “You don’t even look pregnant from behind!” Ummm, thanks … wasn’t aware I was supposed to?
12. Eat. The. Donut.
I gained wayyy too much with my son, yes, I know. But around 6-7 mo people made comments all the time. I’d tell strangers I wasn’t pregnant and then they would awkwardly walk away.
I had a coworker tell me- in front of patients at our office, “Do you really need to eat that donut? Haven’t you gained enough?”
…It was my first donut
13. A Designer Rub
My parents were building a house and when I met their designer, she rubbed my belly.
14. Is It Going to Happen Here?!
I was so huge during my pregnancy—doctors would just have this look of fear on their faces when they passed me in the halls in the hospital I work at… like, “Oh no! I am going to have to deliver this baby one day in this hallway?!”
15. Hand Holding
I was 6 months pregnant and working an event out in the community. I was talking to one of the event coordinators, as there was some miscommunication about vendor parking, and I was frustrated and probably visibly upset.
This complete stranger, who I’m sure had good intentions (but no sense of boundaries), walked by me and interrupted the conversation I was having with the event coordinator. She put her hand on my belly, and said, “Are you all right?”
I proceeded to slip my hand underneath hers, so that she was no longer touching my belly, but we were just holding hands. I didn’t say anything to her, just stared at her awkwardly until she let go, quickly apologized, and walked away, so I could resume the conversation she had interrupted.
16. How About That Acne?
I’m a nurse, and one of my CNAs approached me when I was about 8 weeks pregnant and asked, “Are you pregnant? I noticed you’re getting a lot of acne.”
Increased (in number and size) pimples are historical for me during my early stages of pregnancy, and my coworkers know this. RUDE!!! Way to point out the obvious (my struggling face), but I did NOT want her to have the satisfaction of knowing the little joy growing inside. She was a bit of a pest, unfortunately.
17. Should You Be Drinking?
I can count about a dozen times that new friends asked me if I had any kids while we shared a bottle of wine over dinner. I liked seeing the judgment (or genuine concern) on their face when I said we were expecting, then pausing for a beat before saying ‘don’t worry we’re not pregnant but adopting!’
18. The Well-Wishers
I’m now 31 weeks pregnant. After 12 weeks, when we started telling people, multiple people, including my mother in law, said, “I can’t wait to see you big/huge!” Or “You’ve always been so fit. It’ll be fun to see you big and out of shape.”
19. Party Animals
I was 6 months pregnant with my first daughter and got asked to a party by a college kid. But when I turned around he said, “No thanks,” and walked away. I mean, he didn’t even let me say thank you for the offer! Geez..
20. Repeat Offender
When I was 5 months along with my second…
A dear and sweet, but very insensitive older lady: Wow, you must have twins in there.
Me: Nope , I’ve had a few ultrasounds. There’s only one.
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: Umm, yep…
The next week same lady: You look like you’re ready to have that baby any day….
Me: Nope, still have 4 months left…
21. The Bumpless Bump Rub
I don’t show until around 30 weeks then I POP. But I was at a wedding back home when I was only 20 weeks, and I had no bump. No one would have known I was pregnant if I hadn’t announced.
A girl I knew but didn’t know too well from high school came up to me and touched my “bump.” It was so uncomfortable because she was basically just touching my belly….. I felt so weird. I was just like, “Oh ok.. yeah there’s no bump.” So so awkward.
22. Pregnant From All Sides
A colleague while teaching told me, “Wow, you even look pregnant from behind.”
I also had a kindergartener ask me, “Are you having a baby?” I cheerfully said, “Yes!” And she said, “Oh my aunt is too and she is fat like you.”
Both occurrences I cried haha because I’m even more emotional [when I’m] pregnant!
23. Christmas Dinner
My job involves interviewing people and, oftentimes confronting people about weird personal information. When I was 8 months pregnant, I had to confront a guy about some relatively awkward info he had not shared a couple months prior.
We meet, talk, and it isn’t that pleasant. When we finish, he looks at my belly and says in the most serious and disgusted with me voice, “You must have really liked Christmas dinner.”
It is February. “I’m sorry?” I ask…not sure I understand.
He says, “Last time we met was right before Christmas. You must have loved the Christmas goodies to have put on *looks down at my belly* that much weight.”
I just stare. “Yes sir, I sure did.”
24. The Triple Threat
**This submission came via video. It’s been paraphrased by me.**
Out shopping while pregnant with my triplets. And I was huge. A woman stopped me and said, “Wow, you must be having more than one.” I said, “Yes, triplets actually.”
Then she was really shocked and said, “Oh my goodness! Where can they all be inside?” So I pointed out where they were laying. Baby A, was really low near my crotch. Baby B was laying across the front and Baby C was high up next to my boobs.
Next, she proceeded to touch all the places I just pointed out. My hoo-ha, my belly and my boobs. Really?!
25. Hoping For a Girl
When I was expecting [my third] we already had two boys. I can’t begin to recount how many times I was stopped by complete strangers telling me “I’m sure this time you’re hoping for a girl.”
26. We Haven’t Got Curtains Up Yet…
We had just moved into our newly built house, and were in the process of buying window coverings so still had bare windows.
I was nine months pregnant and enormous. As I stood in my closet, wearing my underwear and a very short robe that didn’t do a good job of hiding anything, I looked out of the closet window to see that a truck full of construction workers had just pulled into my driveway.
The worst part of the entire encounter was answering the door (after I hastily threw on some clothes) and trying to maintain some dignity as I spoke with these guys who tried to avoid smiling at my embarrassment. [It’s been] 33 years and I’m still embarrassed.
27. A Cartful
Walking through Target with my 3 girls in the cart and a very large pregnant belly, “Wow, you have your hands full!”
28. And, Finally…A Man Who Actually Knows the Right Thing To Say.
[I think] my favorite [comment] was from a kind farmer who watched me go through three pregnancies at my receptionist job.
He said something along the lines of wanting me to know how beautiful I looked, but especially while pregnant. He said it’s just so amazing and special and hoped I realized the natural, deep beauty that came with it. I will never forget it.
A Few Postpartum Tales, For Good Measure
In addition to comments made to expectant moms, several chimed in with unwelcome postpartum comments. So we might as well ad those to the list too.
1. The Wellness Coach
*This one is mine.*
Literally on the way home from the hospital. We needed to stop at Walmart for a few pumping/formula supplies. (Shocker, breastfeeding wasn’t going like a dream.)
In the baby section, an older woman looked at me and asked, “When are you due?” I got that big, new-mom smile and said, “Actually, I just had a C-section three days ago. We are on our way home now!”
She says, “Ugh, it’s going to be hard to lose all that baby weight.”
2. Where Do Triplets Come From?
**This one was submitted via video. It’s been paraphrased by me.**
My triplets were 5 months old and my husband was deployed. I needed groceries, so I packed up the babies and my toddler and headed out. I wore two of the three babies, and by the end of the shopping trip I had reached my limit. At checkout an old man stopped me and asked, “Are ALL these yours?”
Like I would go out with this many kids if I didn’t have to. “Yes.”
Then he says, “Are they natural?” At this point I think, yes, these are all natural, human babies. But I just say, “Yes.”
Then he says, “But did you need IVF or something?” By now I’ve had enough, so I told him, “No. My husband and I had sex three times in one night and this is what happened!”
3. Cheeseburger in Paradise
My most cringy comment was 9 days postpartum when someone said, “You must like to eat cheeseburgers.”
4. When Are You Due?
Six weeks AFTER my third boy was born, my husband and I went out for a birthday dinner for me, and the waitress asked me, ” Awww… When are you due?”
5. She Just Can’t Win
We named our second daughter Dorothy, Dottie for short. We had so many people come up to us while we were out and about to tell us she’s cute and ask us her name. The majority of these people were older and the usual response to her name was either, “Ohhh that’s my mother’s name” or ” Oh, that’s my name and I’ve always hated it.”
One man at our church with dementia would come up every Sunday to ask her name. His response to Dorothy was always (with a look of disgust), “Oh, that’s my ex-wife’s name.”
I got kind of tired of hearing that response every Sunday so I decided to change my answer. [One week I said,] “Her name is Margaret.” He said, “Ohhh, that was my ex-wife’s mother’s name! Don’t like that!” Seriously, I can’t win.
6. The Head Sniff
When [my daughter] was a newborn, a lady came up during communion and asked to sniff her head. Then she had the audacity to look at me like I’m the weird one when I said I had never heard of anyone doing that.
I didn’t make a scene until she left, but [my wife] could see me making faces from the front of the church.
Join In For More Fun
Thanks to everyone who responded. It’s so nice that we can look back, laugh, and bond over these unsolicited remarks. But the most important thing to recognize is that the miracle of life is so remarkable, it’s always a conversation starter.
For more fun, positivity and intentional living, join me on Instagram and Facebook. Right now, you can catch an IGTV special reading of my favorite from these reader responses. I’m passionate about teaching others the craft of intentionally seeing the positive and seeing the world through a Christ-centered lens. I hope you’ll join in. I’d love to get to know you.
