If you’ve met me for even half a minute, I’ve likely told you that I hate moving. Like I hate it with a capital H. Which is really too bad, because the life I find myself in requires moves. And lots of them.
It’s not that I dislike the tediousness of the packing. Or that I worry my things will get broken. Or the drag of relocating. Or even fear that I’ll never find another friend ever again.
To be honest, to tell you why I hate moving so much would be really complicated, because I’m not exactly sure why myself. It’s a topic that I’m sure you’ll hear more about in the coming days, months, years (if you keep letting me jabber your ear off.) You’ll hear more about it because the thought of moving touches my heart in a way that very few things do. I love being part of a commuity. Taking part in annual events. Being present in the lives of others. Having those same people present in my life. The opportunity to do a good work that takes time and trust. I crave friends that I’ll be able to be with face to face for more than just three years at a time. (That’s our average stay.)
God has wired me to have a strong connection to home and a yearning to settle in, lay deep roots and crave stability.
All that may seem counterintuitive, since Jesus Himself spoke of not having a place to lay His head. In fact lots of people called by God have found themselves to be wanderers.
But alas…here I am, kicking and fighting against the nomadic life. And after advice, books, prayer, and even paid counseling (which addressed more than just my hatred of moving)–I find that my desire to stay put has very much remained intact. So I’ve drawn the conclusion that this is part of who God has made me to be. It’s my red hottest of hot button issues.
You see–no matter how many times I get yanked out by the roots, I remain optimistic that this next place could (maybe) be my forever home. So I get involved. I get committed. A classic, “You jump, I jump,” situation. (Thank you, thank you to anyone who got that reference.) I volunteer and learn the culture (and in some cases the accordion.) I pick up the slang and a little bit of the accent. I never really care where it is–even if it’s the place no one wants to live (yes, I’m talking about North Dakota)…I just want to stay and never leave.
Total transparency. It’s what I cry my most tears over. It’s what I find myself laying on the kitchen floor over. (That’s often where I do my most pathetic crying.) It’s what I pray about. Stressing over it is what derails my hopes and dreams and ambitions. It paralyzes me with fear sometimes. It’s just about the only thing that stirs up a heated “discussion” between Derek and me. Sometimes it steals my sleep. Sometimes it steals my appetite. More than once I’ve let it steal my peace.
And as you read this–you may think I’m totally crazy. Because to you moving is no big deal. Or -gasp- maybe it’s even something you like to do. That’s totally cool. We can still be friends. In fact…please bottle up some of your bravery and send it to me.
But I bet there is something in your life that causes a similar reaction. Maybe. The symptoms may not be the same. But I’m sure you have a red hottest hot button in your own heart. A metaphorical thorn in the flesh or pebble in your Chacos.
After years (it’s been nearly ten now) of fighting and clawing against my hot button, I’m finally starting to taking a different view. If I’ve tried earnestly all this time to shake it without success, maybe it’s part of who God created me to be. I’ve come to believe that this…one of my biggest weaknesses…is not only a curse. If a stay-putter, craver-of-stability, home-body is part of who God has created me to be, then even this weakness can be a strength for His glory and His Kingdom.
Hear me here. God doesn’t want me living in stress and fear about the day Derek will tell me we’re moving–again. In the narrative of our lives, God is never, EVER the bad guy. Satan would like us to believe that God is setting us up for failure and heartache, by placing these hot buttons in our hearts. But Satan’s identity is lies. He is lies personified and we must be cognizant enough to identify him, deny him and turn our faces back to the Truth.
Let’s transform the way we think about our hot buttons. If God doesn’t intend me to be heart sick–why would He wire me with such a strong longing for home?
Maybe so I will continually need to rest in His stability. Maybe because that desire enables me to establish myself in a community oddly quickly–an asset to a girl who finds herself in a new town every few years. Maybe because that yearning for forever friends means I quickly invest in the lives of those around me. Maybe so I can empathize with others who find themselves away from family. Or so I empathize with those who long to have a place to belong. My optimism about staying put enourages me to continue dreaming, and takes away my fear of making friends.
The truth is, God has equipped me for the unique work He has tasked me with by wiring me to long for stability and crave a forever home. This weakness of mine becomes an asset when placed in God’s hands. It allows me to point back to Him, rely on Him and minister to His people in ways I simply could not if the weakness didn’t exist.
I believe He has equipped you too.
Satan would have us be ashamed of our red hot heart buttons. But if we are in Christ, we have no more shame. None. That means no shame in our weaknesses. And no shame in the things God has created us to care about (**please take a quick note here…God will never wire you to care for/yearn for something that the Bible tells us is against His will or Word.)
It’s time we transform our thinking. Let’s take the things that we consider weaknesses, and instead of brushing them under the rug–take them out, hold them up for the word to see and proclaim them for the glory of God. When we do this, Satan loses all power over our weakness. God can and will bring glory to Himself through our weakness. I firmly believe God will use the side effects of your red hot heart button to better equip you for the work He’d like to task you with. You be you. Own it like a boss. No shame. And be confident in God’s ability to bring good to you and those around you.
I AM AMY AND I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HATE MOVING.
That’s me proclaiming/admitting my weakness and being confident that God is/will use it for His good purpose. Now it’s your turn. Take some time to identify some major weaknesses or heart issues in your life. Pray over them. In what unique ways has God wired you with weakness? How can you transform your thinking about those qualities to understand that God will use them for His glory? How might God be using them already?
But don’t just believe me. Check out this classic quote from Paul. You may have read it before. But read it anew tonight. Are you reading God’s Words, or really believing them for your life? **Remember, Scripture is always best read in context. I encourage you to click over and read the verses around–or the chapter…or whole book while you’re at it–to make sure you are understanding the true meaning of the verses.**
