Here’s some of the most helpful + encouraging parenting advice I’ve ever gotten. In fact, it may be the best parenting advice I ever got.
“Becoming a parent doesn’t mean stopping. It doesn’t mean putting the work God asks of you on hold. It’s not God’s way of telling you to hold off on ministry and using your gifts until your kids are sleeping through the night, in school, potty trained…fill in the blank.
“Becoming a parent in an opportunity to welcome a child into your life’s ministry. To continue to do the work of God—and let your children in on the joy of serving and loving God + others.”
These words were spoken from a pulpit years before I became a mom. But I still remember it vividly as a moment when the lie that children are a burden, not a blessing began to crumble. I used to live in fear that my dreams would never come to fruition if I was a mom. That is simply not true.
What is true is that after I became a mom, the things my heart naturally craved started coming closer. When I had all the time in the world, I was unable zero in on what gifts needed my attention most. I chased after jobs that came easy, but never felt quite right. The work paid, but I always ended up frustrated that my “real” gifts were sidelined. The things I dreamed of never got closer—even though on paper it looked like I had everything I needed to “go for it.”
“After I became a mom, I was able to hone the skill of prioritizing.”
After I became a mom, I honed the skill of prioritizing. Having a baby in one arm meant that I needed to let go of all the “filler” jobs and skills that were awkward to hold—even with both arms. Suddenly my other arm was open to embrace the things that God had actually equipped me to do. I needed to be picky when saying “yes.” I became bolder about walking toward the things I am naturally inclined to do. For me, it’s writing, speaking, teaching, telling stories. For you, it’s probably something different.
I started to see firsthand that the work I was naturally gifted for didn’t need to stop because I had kids in my home; this was an opportunity to welcome them into ministry with me.
This was an opportunity to set an example of praying through how my time should be used, confidently stating the skills I excel at, and showing how God wires us all uniquely for Kingdom work. By allowing my boys to apprentice in this work, I pray that they’ll grow into confident men of God—who can identify their natural gifts and put them to use.
I think back to that statement from a pulpit I haven’t seen in years almost daily as I work on the things God has called me to. So most days you’ll find me in our “office” sitting at this tiny table working as much as I can alongside my best helper and apprentice. Sure, there are tasks I reserve for quiet moments when no little fingers are around to “help” type—but I cherish the moments we spend side by side, each working on our projects. I hope he always remembers that he was included and an important part of the ministry of our family. That he was welcomed into our callings. Never the reason we hit pause on working for the Kingdom of Christ.
A Word to the Not-Moms
Now, a word to those of you without littles in the home. Listen to me. Being a mom is not the key to being more effective for the Kingdom. Don’t get hung up on that. Instead, learn from my mistake of believing that there will be a better time “someday.” Run from the lie that you need to pursue money, or someone else’s definition of success, or even your own ideal of success. You are uniquely created to do unique work. Be confident about your gifts and start praying today for courage to use them to their full potential. This is a practice I’m still working on, and would be honored to have you striving alongside me.
