When I was in elementary school we had a weird school counselor. Things about her are a little blurry. So for all I know she really wasn’t that weird. But at the time she seemed like an odd duck. I don’t remember much about her, not even her name. There are four instances I remember clear as day. She’d come into my first grade classroom on occasion and here’s what stands out to me.
She had some video about a girl and some magical horses that she made us watch. The horses were white and locked up somewhere and only her confidence and self esteem could unlock them. I hated it and thought it was super lame.
One day as an ice breaker she asked us to go around the room and name our favorite show. Every single member of my class said “Full House.” Every. Single. One. {In fairness it was 1993.}
Whenever she left the room she had us wave goodbye by wiggling our index finger at her. Like it was quieter than a regular wave or something. Again, I–the first grade critic–thought it was lame.
The last thing I remember about her is the “Glass Half Full” lesson. It was probably on one of the days she was showing a segment of that magic horse movie, because I clearly remember that she had a half glass of water sitting on top of the VCR on the TV cart.
She pointed to the glass and asked how we would describe the glass. She called on a few people. I was one of them. Now, I was a bright, if cynical, seven year old…so naturally I answered that the glass was half empty. The others said the same thing. She was pulling teeth trying to get someone to answer that the glass could be “half full” instead. It was awkward to watch…
“Now, can anyone think of another way to describe the glass? Anyone?”
Eventually some genius did come up with the idea that it could also be seen as half full. And on went a lesson on positivity and magic horses. After the answer was discovered I just remember thinking that we should have just called it “half a glass of water.” None of this full or empty business. That was lame.
Anyway, as my experiences with the school counselor allude to the fact that I can be a “glass half empty” type of person. I don’t tend to think of myself as a pessimist exactly. As the years have gone on I’m become pretty savvy at seeing the sunny side. Tonight, though I want to tell you about a glass in my life that is half empty.
The first night after Derek left, I sat on the bed and counted out some change. One coin for each day that he’d be gone. Give or take a couple. I just had to see the days in some tangible form, silly as that sounds. I scooped them all up and put them in my prettiest glass…an opalescent depression glass my mom bought for me at an antique shop. At the time this mandatory separation thing seemed really ugly, so I wanted to house it in something beautiful to remind me that even the darkest situations can turn into blessings if we continually praise God in all situations.
Anyway, each night before bed I take a coin out and put it back in my change jar. That first night was so hard. The glass was full, but boy did it seem “half empty.” Even the first week, I could barely see a drop in the level. One by one. Logically, I knew eventually the glass would have to empty down to the very last penny. But it seemed like every night it was as full as the day before.
Then. Finally I started to see a difference.
Now, that glass is more than half empty. But my glass has never felt more full. This deployment is more than halfway over and God has used this time to bless me tremendously and allow my heart to grow in ways I didn’t even know possible. Not only am I not miserable, I’m joyful.
Just proof from a cynical kid that “half full” isn’t always the best.
Amy
