Hope for Unanswered Prayer and Ongoing Pain
My prayers seemed to be met with silence. My perspective on unanswered prayer was about to change.
I had been praying for things to change for months. Over and over I asked God to remove the pain in my body and mind.
Still, the pain remained.
I sat on my patio in the warmth of the North Dakota summer sun and contemplated my reality. My body had been forever altered through a freak spinal injury during a low-impact fitness class. I thought surgery would fix the pain, the doctor said I was a perfect candidate.
Yet the pain remained. Somedays it was worse than before surgery.
Prescription painkillers took the edge off. I took them around the clock. Never did I imagine I’d be dependent on pills to function, but here I was.
Where Was God in The Unanswered Prayer?
My whole world seemed upside down. My body had failed, my thoughts were jumbled, my prayers felt stunted. Where was God?
If you’ve experienced blinding pain—whether emotional or physical—you will understand. Ongoing pain can send us drifting, especially when we try to anchor ourselves with something prone to floating away.
Unknowingly, that’s what I had done. I staked my self-worth and self-esteem on my physical performance and ability to work. When that was taken, the structure of my identity and faith began to crumble.
As I sat in the sun, I thought about the seemingly thousands of times I’d prayed for relief that never came. Then I asked myself a convicting question, “Do you worship God because you know He is the one and only God, because He alone has rescued you from the penalty of sin…or do you worship Him because you want Him to give you what you want?” Did my faith rely solely on the outcome of an unanswered prayer?
Prayer Is More Than Submitting Wishes To God
My prayer life had been distilled into one prayer—a wish—whispered repeatedly from my heart: Please make this pain go away. Heal my body. Make things how they used to be.
As Christians, we pray to a living God. This means our prayers do not need to be limited to wishes as though we’re tossing pennies into a fountain. Our prayers can be worshipful conversation. Prayer affords us the opportunity to sit at the throne of the Almighty God, to bask in His presence, seek His divine discernment, and allow the sheer majesty of His closeness to properly align our hearts. Prayer is so much more than closing our eyes to present a wish list (or worse, a to-do list) to God. It’s a conversation, it’s a gift.
In my distress and grief, I’d cast aside those truths about prayer. Day after day I submitted my singular request with no room for discussion, teaching, or transformation. That day in the sun, I faced a choice. Could I muster the courage to trust that God is good, holy, and true despite my physical and mental pain? Or did I only accept His sovereignty when I got what I wanted or didn’t need to depend on Him to move forward?
Maybe you are at a juncture requiring similar soul searching. What will your choice be?
Pain Doesn’t Equal Unanswered Prayer
I chose the former and set my pain up like an altar of remembrance. It was testimony that I chose Jesus, despite the pain of the world and imperfection of human existence. I prayed a new prayer in which I proclaimed to believe that God is who He says He is in Scripture—whether my pain vanished or never relented. As, as creatures of free will have the ability to intentionally trust that God is good and that His goodness can coexist with worldly suffering. Pain does not nullify His righteousness, omniscience or love for us.
God is an ally who sustains and redeems us as we traverse a world where we “will have trouble,” (John 16:33). He thwarts attacks from the enemy and turns them into assets in our personal ministry and redemption story.
When we find strength to overcome the lie that we’ve done faith wrong when we experience pain in this life, amazing things can happen. When our prayers seem to be unanswered, maybe it’s time to reassess the heart of our prayer. Are we too blinded by our ideals to see a gift God wants to give us? Is God trying to perform a bigger miracle that what we are envisioning?
Complete erasure of my pain would have been a miracle, but God did something bigger. He placed peace, joy, even happiness in my heart despite the pain. He paved a way for me to thrive and live abundantly—even in the midst of the pain. Sometimes the biggest miracle is the ability to stand firmly in peace while facing adversity that seems insurmountable (Ephesians 6:10-18).
Shifting My Perspective on Prayer Prepared Me For Trials To Come
I didn’t know it, but I was about to lose my mind. Even after this heart-changing moment, I would spiral into a life-threatening depression. Nearly everything I thought about God, marriage, myself and life would be put to the test, shaken and rebuilt in Truth.
There was great pain, but greater healing. I see now God was never far from me. He was with me as toxic thought patterns were extracted from my mind, poisonous lies were syphoned from my heart and destructive misconceptions were pruned from my faith. Consciously choosing to shift my perspective allowed God to step in and heal brokenness that had caused a lifetime of cyclical anxiety and depression. Starting with this shift in prayer-life, He began reaching in to bring about mental healing that would last. He began giving me something I didn’t even know to ask for.
When placed in God’s miraculous hands, He will take our suffering and use it as a medium to create redemption, ministry and joy. This journey starts when we summon the courage to humble ourselves enough to step aside and trust Him to be the good God He claims to be.
How Can I Help You Hold Onto Hope? I’m Here To Serve You.
Here are a few ways, but I’m always open to new ideas.
- Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook where I share more about faith, finding rhythm in Bible study/prayer, my past with mental health and raising emotionally healthy littles.
- Sign up for my monthly newsletter where I share encouragement, resources and recommendations.
- Head to the resource page for freebies. I’ve got new resources set to launch summer 2022.
- Allow me to meet with your group in person or virtually to hear more about my testimony, discuss the intersection of Christianity and mental health, and field questions. Learn more about speaking engagements here.
- If you are in a position of leadership or ministry, I offer consultation calls designed to answer questions and strategize ways to serve individuals grappling with their mental health.
