Last night Derek and I were talking on the phone. Because that’s what we do now. That, and FaceTime. But usually our FaceTime calls are a little distracting because someone (with adorable, chubby fingers) thinks he needs to hold the phone the whole time…then it turns into a balancing act of actually seeing each other and keeping a technology tantrum at bay.
As usual, I’m getting off track.
Anyway, we were on the phone discussing one of the most pressing matters with our transition. What to do with the Canyon Lake Cottage. We have a great peace about keeping it (not selling.) Now we need renters. We’ve gone back and forth about keeping it as a short term/vacation rental and looking for a long term renter.
There are pros and cons to both sides. A long term renter would take care of the utilities and bills. However, a long term renter can be really hard on a property and we’ve heard some scary stories.
A short term rental set up means less wear on the property, but more management. More logistics. And maybe craziest of all…it means we need to have a “furnished” house in Rapid City and Minot.
At the beginning of this whole process I thought for sure I’d be going mad without all my “things” by this point. A couple years ago (even one year ago) that probably would have been the case. But I’ve seen God changing me in ways that I never thought possible. Attachments, burdens and struggles that I thought would forever be a thorn in my flesh have slowly and gently been extracted.
I can’t peg what exactly is responsible for this shift, but I think a big part of it stems from a word that God planted in my heart several years ago. Intentionality. Again, I’m not sure what exactly brought it on, but in the fall of 2016 the word “intentionality” kept coming to mind. Since then it’s become a bit of an anthem for me.
Most of you know I have struggled to overcome and manage crippling anxiety and depression. The greatest strides for me came when I became intentional about my mental health. Intentionality when it came to what I said “yes” to and what I said “no” to. This helped guard me from being spread too thin (something that easily triggers a bit of panic for me.) Intentionality in seeking care and asking for help. Intentionality in the way I think.
That intentionality spread to other aspects of my life. I could feel the Holy Spirit encouraging me to be intentional in the Word and prayer. To be intentional in my marriage, and intentional in the ways I wield my giftings.
Intentional about who I am trying to impress.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10
This has not been a perfect practice. There are lots of days that I don’t get it right at all. There have been many times I’ve wished I could be more intentional about more things. But I’ve never once felt the sting of reprimand from the Lord. He sees the heart, He knows I’m trying. Like I said, this really started to resonate in 2016. I’m finally truly starting to see the fruit of this slow, slow change.
So back to our move. When the jumble of information and logistics started to rain down in the spring my natural reaction was fear. Followed by flitting thoughts about how we could make things quick and seamless. I wanted to find a way to keep things as “normal” and “the same” for our family as possible.
Quickly, it became obvious this transition would be different. Again I heard the Spirit whisper, “intentionality” in my ear. With His urging and leading I began to reframe my thoughts.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2
Fear of leaving and being without all the comforts of my home became something new and redeemed.:
“In the past, I have been closest to God and gotten to know Him most through times of hard transition.”
“Before when things have been hard and unstable, I find it easiest to lean on the Rock of my Salvation.”
“Even though having very little, and living out of a suitcase for a very long time will be hard (and quite honestly will be very crummy at times) hopefully this season will break some of my long-held attachment to things that God never intended to capture my heart.”
In the narrative of our lives, God is never the villain. He is the redeemer. He is the creative author who can take any plot and twist it into something surprisingly lovely for the characters. Can can redeem our circumstances, and even more miraculous, he can redeem our thinking.
Let me get back to where I started. Last night Derek and I were discussing our options.
“Well, if we find a long term renter we’ll need everything moved out of the Rapid house by the end of September.”
“But our house in Minot will be under construction. Where will we put it all?”
“Probably the basement.”
“What if we left furniture in Rapid City and kept running it as a vacation house?”
“I don’t know. I’m thinking about the holidays. How long do we really want to live like gypsies?”
“I don’t know what the best solution is. Maybe leave it as a short term rental until after Christmas? That will give us time to get some renovation started and by then we’ll all be living in the same place, in a house of our own.”
“How do you feel about not having our things for that long?”
Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21
And that’s when it hit me that God has been up to something. I was honestly okay with it. Now, I’m not saying that’s our final solution. I have no idea how this is all going to shake out. But I wasn’t yearning for the things that I own. For a girl who craves “home” that’s a really big deal.
All in all, this is my long, drawn out way of trying to offer you encouragement. What are you facing right now that seems impossible? What thinking do you wish you could shed? Turn on its head? Redeem? Becoming intentional (more purposeful) is a process. And it’s not a process that falls on our shoulders to bear. It’s a process led by the Holy Spirit–we simply need to bring an earnest heart and a teachable spirit to the table.
You’ll be hearing more about the soap opera that is our transition in the days, weeks, and months to come. But for now, be encouraged.
xo
Amy
